The inlaws can be a serious issue in some relationships.
Yes. It’s a very powerful word. When you said that magical word to your future husband - did you also know that saying, "yes" was also going to include his family? This can be an incredible relationship that you will cherish forever or yes....it can be a straining relationship.
So, you’ve had your family dinners, family outings etc., but this was as the girlfriend. Things can change now that you are becoming his wife. I was lucky enough to have a mother-in-law (MIL) who was fantastic with my wedding. She didn’t interfere with any of my planning and was just happy to be involved when I asked for her help. The only time I had a response from her was when I told her I was thinking of having my family dog walk down the aisle. She had to sit down when I told her this news. And in all honesty, I was like "okay, she doesn’t like that idea but my wedding - my dog." She lucked out though, I was unable to train my dog to even sit never mind walk down an aisle.
Unfortunately, we don’t all luck out with this. I have heard and witnessed MIL’s in action causing havoc for the bride. This might also not be your MIL perhaps it’s your own mother, a step-mother or an aunt.
For the purpose of this article, I am going to refer to MIL’s; however use any of these suggestions for anyone who is causing you problems within your wedding plans and life.
Some "typical" MIL problems that I have seen brides be faced with:
Sometimes, all these are just a reaction to envy and anxiety about the wedding. And these responses may disappear after; however it is important that you start this relationship out on the best foot possible. Not only for your sake, but for your husband’s also.
If all else fails, ask your husband to speak with your MIL if you don’t feel like you can. He understands her the best and can help you with these difficult moments you are feeling towards his mother. If your mate doesn’t seem to want to deal with this either, try writing her a letter to let her know how you are feeling. You want to try to build an open relationship with your MIL.
But, please also remember your rights. You do have a right to say "no", disagree, not really love them, feel hurt and let them know they hurt you and to take an active part in decisions regarding your future life with them.
And I guess if all else fails. Move. Which reminds me - where did I place that real estate section from Alaska?
Keywords: wedding, marriage, couples, relationships
So, you’ve had your family dinners, family outings etc., but this was as the girlfriend. Things can change now that you are becoming his wife. I was lucky enough to have a mother-in-law (MIL) who was fantastic with my wedding. She didn’t interfere with any of my planning and was just happy to be involved when I asked for her help. The only time I had a response from her was when I told her I was thinking of having my family dog walk down the aisle. She had to sit down when I told her this news. And in all honesty, I was like "okay, she doesn’t like that idea but my wedding - my dog." She lucked out though, I was unable to train my dog to even sit never mind walk down an aisle.
Unfortunately, we don’t all luck out with this. I have heard and witnessed MIL’s in action causing havoc for the bride. This might also not be your MIL perhaps it’s your own mother, a step-mother or an aunt.
For the purpose of this article, I am going to refer to MIL’s; however use any of these suggestions for anyone who is causing you problems within your wedding plans and life.
Some "typical" MIL problems that I have seen brides be faced with:
- ¤ MIL’s that are having a hard time dealing with the fact that their little boy is going to have a woman in their lives more significant then themselves.
¤ MIL’s that just don’t feel you’re good enough for their son. She might feel that you are not capable of giving her son exactly what she had dreamed for him.
¤ MIL’s that just like to meddle. They have been meddling in their son’s lives forever so why would they stop? Because of you - give it up.
¤ MIL’s that are control freaks. "Oh dear, I have so much extra time on my hands "why don’t you leave the planning up to me, I have thousands of ideas."
¤ MIL’s that just don’t care. They act withdrawn and can be rude and obnoxious.
Sometimes, all these are just a reaction to envy and anxiety about the wedding. And these responses may disappear after; however it is important that you start this relationship out on the best foot possible. Not only for your sake, but for your husband’s also.
- ¤ Try Patience. The same way that we can’t pick our family; we can’t pick our in-laws.
¤ Try Respect. Your MIL is going to be playing a significant part in your life from now on and you should try to build the best respectful relationship as possible.
¤ Try Kindness. Don’t get your back up on everything. Invite her for lunch or to a dress fitting; it is said when we smile and make nice gestures the favor is returned.
¤ Try Involvement. Give her something to do. Pick something off your list that you really just don’t have a passion for or do need some help with. Such as sending her to the local flea markets every weekend to find that special piece you have been looking for your centrepieces, finding the best deal on the flowers you have chosen etc.
¤ Try to Understand. Many MIL’s don’t even realize the stress they are causing. They are oblivious to what is going on. They are excited! They are counting grandchildren on one hand as they count out the guests they want at the wedding on the other hand.
If all else fails, ask your husband to speak with your MIL if you don’t feel like you can. He understands her the best and can help you with these difficult moments you are feeling towards his mother. If your mate doesn’t seem to want to deal with this either, try writing her a letter to let her know how you are feeling. You want to try to build an open relationship with your MIL.
But, please also remember your rights. You do have a right to say "no", disagree, not really love them, feel hurt and let them know they hurt you and to take an active part in decisions regarding your future life with them.
And I guess if all else fails. Move. Which reminds me - where did I place that real estate section from Alaska?
Keywords: wedding, marriage, couples, relationships
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