Did any of you vibrides invite your ex? Did your FH?

Us, no. I think it is a bad omen because of the bad experience we had at his high school sweetheart's wedding 3 years ago.

Nope. Haven't seen him since I threatened to file a restraining order on his butt. I won't be inviting any old guy "friends" either.

Heck NO! My old guy friends we're invited either.

I just had to reply to this one. I use to be real close with my ex's friends. When we broke up I stayed in contact, but the relationships faded. I've been with my fh for over 5 years. This is a sore sore sore subject for him. When I opened my mouth to mention inviting my ex and actually heard the words I said, and realized what a mistake I made. This day is about moving forward for me, so we are inviting one of those old friends at that is it. I can't worry about who's feelings are hurt, besides me and my fh.

OK, now, don't laugh, but my FH is actually my 1st boyfriend. I mean, I had guy friends, but they were never more than that. My FH is my First everything!! I am young, so maybe that's a good thing.

Below is a Cautionary Tale from this weekend:

I was coming out my favorite restaurant, walking to my car and spotted a familiar face crossing the street. It was a friend from junior high, i did a double take and he came over to me. I was like, "Wassup, Andre! It's been forever! How are you?!" the whole long-time-no-see bit. We hug, real platonic-like right? As i pull away he looks me dead in the eye and says, "I'm still in love with you". I haven't seen this negro in 10 years and we nehhh-ver dated!

I just traveled forward in time and imagined that same scenario in the receiving line at my wedding. Aint gon be no undercover stalkers AT MY WEDDING!!!!!

My answer...I don't plan to invite any Ex's (ex-hubby,ex-boyfriend, etc).Honestly, I would be very offended if FH invited any of his ex's.

I agree with mylles79 marriage is about moving forward in life not about dwelling over the past. I am not inviting my ex. We left on bad terms and I tried to do the christian thing and turn the other cheek and do the "let's just be friends" gig. But when he and his girlfriend (now baby mama) started drama and told me that he had spoken to one of my good friends and told them that God told him that my FH was not the one for me I knew he then had to be cut off. But I do not regret meeting him or going through the experience with him because if I did not go through what I went through with him God would not have made me as strong as I am now and I would not be marrying one of the most God fearing, loving, compassionate, understanding, forgiving, handsome man on earth. I probably would have invited my ex if he was not crazy cause at the same time I can't change what happened in the past. But now I think about it my FH would not want that so no I would not invite him.

Though I still have a very good relationship w/my ex-husband due to the fact we have 3 children, as a matter of fact FH and I had him over for dinner several Sundays ago. We like to show our children that adults can be adults and there does not have to be a lot of baby mama and baby daddy drama. But I wld nt invite him since I do not want to hurt his feelings or cause him any undo stress. Feelings come up during these kind of things whether or not they are valid. However I wld like to invite his ex, that skank that tried to weasel her way bck into his life when I was pregnant w/our son so I can throw in her,,,,,,OOPS that was the devil ladies. Pray for me

I am cracking up over here Taj! lol

Taj...over here laughing my butt off...I feel you.
I wouldn't dream of inviting an ex. How would YOU feel if FH invited any of his ex's. So now take FH's feelings into consideration. I don't get the reasoning behind this one?!? Why? and what for? think of all that can for wrong when that question is asked, "Is there any reason these two..."
come on.

My step-daughter's mom will be there (FH's ex). But, we have a different type of relationship. There's no drama at all. When they come to NJ, before they head back on the road, they will come in. When we went down to my step-daughter's graduation, my daughter stayed down there with them until they drove up (the same day). Me and FH even attended her wedding last year. However, she's the only one that'll be invited. None of my ex's will be there.

SeptBride wrote:

My step-daughter's mom will be there (FH's ex). But, we have a different type of relationship. There's no drama at all. When they come to NJ, before they head back on the road, they will come in. When we went down to my step-daughter's graduation, my daughter stayed down there with them until they drove up (the same day). Me and FH even attended her wedding last year. However, she's the only one that'll be invited. None of my ex's will be there.

That would probably be the only exception, seeing that everyone is cool with it and have moved on. Its easier when the ex has moved on gotten married, or had more children with new BF/GF/Wife, etc.

Absolutely not!

That thought never crossed my mind.

ClassyCounselor wrote:

I think it is a bad omen because of the bad experience we had at his high school sweetheart's wedding 3 years ago.

Missed this lil' part. And what exactly was that bad experience?

HEEELLLL 2 the NO!!! They're ex's for a reason. May it always remain that way too!! The site of them makes me want to vomit!! Oh dang..sorry ladies. It appears that I'm having some flashbacks. Only male friends will be in attendance. These are friends (strictly platonic) from growing up or whatever. FH's ok w/it as he's already met them & seen that there's nothing to them; totally harmless!

But Taj, I'm cracking up over here @ you! You're crazier than me.

Girl Breath.LOL

SeptBride wrote:

My step-daughter's mom will be there (FH's ex). But, we have a different type of relationship. There's no drama at all. When they come to NJ, before they head back on the road, they will come in. When we went down to my step-daughter's graduation, my daughter stayed down there with them until they drove up (the same day). Me and FH even attended her wedding last year. However, she's the only one that'll be invited. None of my ex's will be there.

I'm inviting my daughter's father as well. He may opt to just attend the ceremony (being that his lil girl is the flower girl), but that decision is left totally up to him. No drama, we're all mature adults.

That's great! I never really given any of that a thought however I just wouldnt feel comfortable inviting any of my ex's or any fo my fh's ex's.

Don't do it. TOTALLY inappropriate. There have been many movies about it. It always ends badly for a reason. Besides what man wants to look in the face of someone he knows for sure has slept with his wife??? lol

Exactly Rosie, or on your wedding day look in the face the woman that has slept with your man.

I'm totally glad that me, FH, the ex and the ex's new husband has a much better relationship. We're all grown. If I felt the way some of you felt, I probably wouldn't be with FH. I see her quite often when picking up step-daughter/she dropping her off and vice versa when my ex was alive. Thank God we see pass "the past".

MsBoston wrote:

I think it is a bad omen because of the bad experience we had at his high school sweetheart's wedding 3 years ago.


Missed this lil' part. And what exactly was that bad experience?

I just saw it as a bad omen for her. She invited FH and I - which I thought was weird, especially due to how things ended between FH, her, and her now husband of 3 years. (long story!)

She begged FH to make her a cd for the reception and another guy to make her another one for the ceremony. Well, the other guy's cd skipped while the bridesmaids were walking down the aisle (and she swore the cd was perfect the day before). Everyone was looking at FH like it was his, when it wasn't, so that was uncomfortable. She was feeling and looking ill due to being preggers even though she was fine the day before and the meat during the reception was really bloody. I just felt that with those things and some other details that happened during her wedding was either karma or a bad omen from what she had done to FH and her husband years prior. Call it silly, but I don't want that same fate.

SeptBride wrote:

I'm totally glad that me, FH, the ex and the ex's new husband has a much better relationship. We're all grown. If I felt the way some of you felt, I probably wouldn't be with FH. Thank God we see pass "the past".

I concur! Amen!!!

BUMP-
Being that the topic of Ex's is in the air, I thought this would be a good one to recap.

I am cool with my ex-if we bump into each other somewhere, we do the long time no speak or see gig, that's it. I would never even thought to invite him or any other ex to my wedding...no matter how DH felt...
How about any of the newer ladies. What is your take on this?

Even I know better than to invite an ex. lol. how do youladies feel about inviting the parents of the children from previous relationships if the children are in the wedding?

They can also sit this one out since they are technically considered EX's also. Give them a photo of the child on that day. That should be good enough.

I agree with that.

My ex recommended our photographer. We ended our relationship amicably and sometimes run into each other since he happens to be the best friend of my cousin. With all that said, he still doesnt get an invite.

Myself and fh have gone rounds with this one... I say HECK NAW.. Ain't no ex's invited.. I don't care who's mama it is!
Thank god fh baby's momma is 3000 miles away and wouldn't dream of comin' out here..
fh did however want one of his ex's who he is still friends with (she is now happily married and all that good stuff) to be invited... I said He** no.. I don't need my parents asking who that is.... and my friends who can be quite feisty starting a Soul Food wedding scene.. Besides ... i can be quite rowdy myself and once the drinks start flowin my mouth gets a bit hard to control! So that remains a heck NO! No ex's allowed!


Besides, I refuse to ruin my pedicure steppin' on some heffa's neck lol!

No way. All my exes are exes for a reason and I rather them keep going on with there life. I did invite one of my exes mother and siblings because they are so much like family but I haven't told FH yet. I don't even think he will recognize them so I am not worried.

My ex and I are best-friends still and also, business partners, FH and I spoke about it and he said that he doesn't plan on inviting any of his exes because he doesn't have the type of relationship that me and my ex does, but he wouldn't feel offended if I wanted to invite mine because we work together daily. He said that he wouldn't feel uncomfortable because it's his last name that I'll carry not my exes. So yes, I plan on inviting my ex and his family since we're still very close, but I'm not sure if he'll accept.

I aint inviting none of them. I am soooo mad that my ex hung the phone up me when I told him that my man asked me to marry him. He needed to know and he has just affirmed that he still has feelings and I dont need that foolishness in my life. I wont be inviting any guy friends either.

In your situation Mycenae, I wouldn't either. You need a clean break of it all.

Ladies it will be "Hell To Tell" if I invited My Ex-Husband. LOL
Even though OUR two kids will be in the wedding. He's just not mature enough yet to handle me moving on after our divorce. (thats been years ago, you would think he would be over it by now) But you know how some men are.
So, needless to say, I will not be inviting him. Even though I would love for him to see the kids, he just couldn't handle it.

Ginoue wrote:

In your situation Mycenae, I wouldn't either. You need a clean break of it all.

Indeed the more I let go the better I feel. I even started throwing things I don't need anymore away. Get rid of the clutterin my life and my heart!

Weddings are supposed to be happy so I wouldnt want anyone there who is hating me in his heart or dispising seeing me happy. For all my stuff, I am proud that I am not a HATER. lol

WHOOHOOOOOOO!!! Good for you mycenae!!!

mycenae1918 wrote:

In your situation Mycenae, I wouldn't either. You need a clean break of it all.


Indeed the more I let go the better I feel. I even started throwing things I don't need anymore away. Get rid of the clutterin my life and my heart!

Weddings are supposed to be happy so I wouldnt want anyone there who is hating me in his heart or dispising seeing me happy. For all my stuff, I am proud that I am not a HATER. lol

your talking about everything else Are you wearing that ring yet?

Lol. Im actually getting in sized so that I can wear it all the time! LOL. That's why I went ahead and made it public knowledge because I am not going to be taking it off.

HOT DANM, I THINK SHE FINALLY GOT RID OF HER DARK CLOUDS!!! WAY TO GO MYCENAE!!!

ok-I did invite my "ex" to the wedding and him and his wife did attend; he & I dates yeeeeeaaarrrrssss before and lost touch for about 10 yrs. He sought me out again when he found out my son had passed away and we begin our friendship again...he helped me thru some really rough times--and truly became my "bud" DH had a problem with it at first, but once he realized it was harmless he was ok with it...

Wow Soon,
I think its good when people can be mature about something like that. I really wish My Ex would grow up. I would love for him and his girlfriend to be there for the kids. I think that would speak VOLUMES to them. But he's just not there yet.

soon2bmsj wrote:

ok-I did invite my "ex" to the wedding and him and his wife did attend; he & I dates yeeeeeaaarrrrssss before and lost touch for about 10 yrs. He sought me out again when he found out my son had passed away and we begin our friendship again...he helped me thru some really rough times--and truly became my "bud" DH had a problem with it at first, but once he realized it was harmless he was ok with it...

I think you were meant to be friends with some men and lovers with others. When you should have been friends and you date and break up you can be friends in the end. But, when you were supposed to be lovers and you break up. That's it. Some times we date people should have been only friends and have lovers who should have been friends.
I think your friendship is awesome and that he was there for you in your time of need is amazing.

DH is friends with one of my ex's so we invited him but he didn't show. DH has one female friend who I've never actually met but I've heard of her that he invited and she didn't show either. I think she's an ex although he denies it.

pamcrow wrote:

DH is friends with one of my ex's so we invited him but he didn't show. DH has one female friend who I've never actually met but I've heard of her that he invited and she didn't show either. I think she's an ex although he denies it.

Well the good thing about my ex is even though him and DH or me & his wife had never met, things were still cool...his wife admitted to him that she was "sizing me up" though but what women doesn't want to know what the other women looks like? but she even told him she thought I was a very nice person and she can see how he & I could have clicked...DH on the other hand was shocked because he knows I love tall men, (ex is short-5'7-8)and I have always said I love a man that has some roughness to him(NOT a roughneck)and ex is a "pretty boy" type!! LOL

That would be a hell.to.the.NO! FH has some exes that thoroughly confuse me! I will def have to have shorts and a beater under my dress if any of them heffas are in attendance! Lord, and his sons' mother? I'd be in jail in my dress! Then again I have some thumpers in my family and they would handle it before I could even turn around!

LMAO!!!!!!

Future, you are a fool.
Not the shorts and the beater...LOL
But hey, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

FutureMrsKeepUp wrote:

That would be a hell.to.the.NO! FH has some exes that thoroughly confuse me! I will def have to have shorts and a beater under my dress if any of them heffas are in attendance! Lord, and his sons' mother? I'd be in jail in my dress! Then again I have some thumpers in my family and they would handle it before I could even turn around!

NO MA'AM..not under your wedding dress!!! LMAO

Ginoue wrote:

My ex and I are best-friends still and also, business partners, FH and I spoke about it and he said that he doesn't plan on inviting any of his exes because he doesn't have the type of relationship that me and my ex does, but he wouldn't feel offended if I wanted to invite mine because we work together daily. He said that he wouldn't feel uncomfortable because it's his last name that I'll carry not my exes. So yes, I plan on inviting my ex and his family since we're still very close, but I'm not sure if he'll accept.

G? is this the guy we were all ready to floor for you? Your last fiance?