I'm really thinking that the goo-goo eyed newlywed stage doesn't apply to everyone. It surely doesn't apply to us. It just seems like the next/final step, but nothing like the media and other people say theirs were.

What say ye, newlywed/married vibrides?

It isn't that way for us either. My husband and I have known each other for approx 20 years. Our marriage was our way of letting God and the world know that we love each other and wanted to make things official. We are very happy and have always been head over heals for each other. However, we aren't goo-goo eyes (although my daughter will tell a very different story, she says you guys are always touching and kissing), we do what we have been doing all along!

A little of both for us. We have known each other about 8 years now, but we never lived together beforehand and we abstained a long time before the wedding so its kind of new again. We are already back to working hard so we are just glad to be able to lay down together after a long hard day instead of him just having dinner with me and then leaving me...So our presence together has taken a lot of our old frustrations away....if ya know what I mean (wink).

I think as we take on new milestones....new house, kids, etc, then we can see. But we're kind of googly-eyed a little.

We're not the googly-eyed couple type, either. According to others, we've been in the newlywed phase since we met. We had breakfast at IHOP this weekend & the waitress thought we had just started dating. (I suppose she saw gestures, or something)It's funny how some people say 'all that's going to stop when you get married'. It hasn't. Now people say 'all that's going to stop when you have kids'. People just don't know...

I believe your relationship/marriage is what you make of it. What you get out of it is what you put in.

Okay its ben 4 months now and we are not googly-eyed anymore...More like Cross-eyed....my husband is a trip and a half. We are still having fun, but I guess its because I'm not working right now and I am interning, but still chillin. I just got offered a job and start in August after I graduate so I will see how we feel a couple of months after that.

No kids right now or on the way....plus we are still doing our "wedding/baby rounds" since almost everyone we know are either getting married/just got engaged/given birth/about to give birth/found out they were pregnant/ or WHATEVER...(we had one friend give birth in February OF THIS YEAR and is pregnant AGAIN....ALREADY......so we are buying gifts, dressing up, planning/participating in parties, congratulating, being congratulated, and just plain ole' tired of it all. But we are still feeling really nice cause we hear it from everyone all the time...asking us questions (when is a baby coming?/how's the married life), and we just eat it up for now....I guess its more like wedding fever, more than a phase....Maybe its just where I live and who I know....

Nope ,we're not goggly eyed at all. Can't say we ever really were. We've always had this "beauty & the beast, thuglike passion" between us. Like Byrd & Lem from Soul Food. We have our moments when it's "hot and heavy" and then the next it's "get out my face". Next weekend will be our 3 month wedding anniversary but its already SSDD (same s%^!, different day). No complaints though. I didn't expect anything else.

U think it depends on the how long you have known ur FH or how well u know each other.

Bump

Okay it's been 1 year and 3 days since my reply to this post and I'm not sure what phase me and hubby are in. We pretty much walk around each other with a "whatever" attitude because everything seemingly turns into an argument. I know it's a passing phase but with both of us so stubborn I pray it doesn't last any longer than necessary.

Pam, dont feel bad about that I am sure it will pass...i know how it is with 2 being stubborn. Sometimes, you have to push that stubborness to the side.I hope things change for you 2 quickly...

Me and DH are very stubborn and sometimes we are in the whatever moments. People ask how is married life but we have already been living together for 4 yrs, and together totally for 5 yrs. We have already been thru some for better or worse, sickness and health, and richer or poorer stages. we do still keep the fire burning though but we have our moments and then we make up. we have gotten better with the being stubborn habit cause we both know that the other can hold out on not talking, its like we take turns breaking the ice.

Awe that is so cute Teresa!

well, I have to say after 4 months DH and I don't have the "googly-eyes" will maybe for a few minutes (literally) here and there like when I returned from a business trip last Fri after being away all wk he was baby this, baby that...but that changed "quickly" when I walked in and saw my house and his lack of cleaning!!
Again, I agree with someone else, you will have the moments where it is there, but I think it is unrealistic to think it will be there all the time so do your thank Lem & Bird aka PAMCROW (LOL-you killed me with that one!!)

I think all couples go through changes married or not but it is always important to remember why your married in the first place,sometimes we figure because we are married now we dont have to do the things we did before we were married. my hubby and i still get goggly-eyed and still have that firey thing going on but i am very stubborn and he is more laid back but he always gives in when were not speaking I am a gemini and he always which one of you am i dealing with today catina or catrina lol but no matter which one we both love him to pieces

pamcrow wrote:

Bump

Okay it's been 1 year and 3 days since my reply to this post and I'm not sure what phase me and hubby are in. We pretty much walk around each other with a "whatever" attitude because everything seemingly turns into an argument. I know it's a passing phase but with both of us so stubborn I pray it doesn't last any longer than necessary.

I know the feeling. However, I had to make a commitment to change the way I approached DH and how I responded to him. When I prayed, I prayed that we both had the patience, open mind, and heart to listen to each other in order to prevent the unnecessary arguing. This REALLY made a difference. Good luck.

Things have gotten a little better over the last couple of days. I can see DH putting in effort to lighten the mood in the house but I see now that I got him beat hands down when it comes to stubborness. I don't know what it is with me but when I'm really mad about something I don't want to hear or talk about anything else until we address whatever the problem is. I can't stand the change the subject or act like nothing happened game. Just deal with it and get it over with is pretty much how I look at it. I am starting to soften though. Just a lit bit...LOL

2nd update....after a year and like 4 months, we are definitely cross-eyed...not googly eyed....Actually I want to kick him in the eye....! No but really its good, but I think the eye kick may help....LOL.
Definitely a phase! More like a moment...

LMAO Bumble!!!

Teresa1167 wrote:

Well ladies we are still goo-goo eyed !!
It is kinda crazy because he can't go anywhere without me and I won't without him. It is funny in away to me!!!But I guess everything is so fresh it's been only a litlle over 3 months!!And his birthday was recently so we are still celebrating (hint)(hint)!!!LOL
But I am sure it will pass soon!!

Maybe not. It may last forever Teresa. Every couple is different, but enjoy your hubby girl and have fun!!!!!

Bumblebeekee wrote:

2nd update....after a year and like 4 months, we are definitely cross-eyed...not googly eyed....Actually I want to kick him in the eye....! No but really its good, but I think the eye kick may help....LOL.
Definitely a phase! More like a moment...

Wow......are we related?!?!? LOL

It's sooo good to know you're not alone. lol

I have to admit, he IS getting better....When I came back from a business trip last tuesday he had the house...kinda clean, and he ...sorta made the bed in his own way, and he had gone grocery shopping, and bought all this healthy food, so I have to admit he is getting better...Lets just say we have been "honeymooning" since then....until saturday, he whined because I was baking my sister a lemon cake and he got jealous and demanded a red velvet...though I had made him one before I left and he shared it with everyone....so I had to kick him in the butt for being a baby....but those moments pass and he is out of the dog house...

Teresa, the way that you're feeling should last if you guys continue to do what you're doing. Now there are times when you will want to kill each other, but remember the love, and you'll be honeymooning past your seventies.

I think when you put two different personalities in a house together, you are going to have disagreements and want to slap the black off each other once in a while. But I believe maturity and growth is how you start dealing with those times. BELIEVE me I'm still a work in progress because I'm stubborn and hard headed and I can be mad at something for REAL LONG TIME if I put my mind to it. I've come to realize though that some things are not worth it. This is how I've dealt with my impatience and hard head. First pray pray pray, secondly I had to realize that most of the things we disagree about is just not that serious! My hubby is a cop and he is in the army, what if we argue over something stupid right before he has to go to work, we get mad at each other and don't speak, and God forbid something happens to him. So the last memory I will have would be that we argued over something dumb an un-important. This could go both ways, I don't mean to put doom and gloom on here but the reality is you could be here one second and gone the next and I don't want our last words to be an arguement. This is what helps me to loosen up on my pride and stubborness. Our one year anniversary just past and I think I love that man even more then when I married him. He is so supportive and he loves me so much. I just had surgery where I had to be in the hospital for a couple days and my hubby took such good care of me the whole time. We were supposed to go out of town for our one year but we couldn't because I was still in recovery. He still made our anniversary so special. I told him I think one of the many reasons I love him is because he loves ME so much....it's amazing and I wouldn't change a single moment in this year that we've been married. Sorry for the long email....I guess I got caught up....lol

Well said Soontobebride.

I don't have anything to add. Soontobe said it all.

Wow, I'm still misting!!!

Awww Mrs. Soon! Happy Belated Anniversary! Hope your recovery is going well!

I think it depends on the type of relationship you had prior to getting married. In my case, my husband and I dated briefly in HS and became friends afterward, matured through life experiences and rekindled our relationship many years later. We still are very much friends and lovers as a bonus. We've always had that flirty way with one another and now that we're married it seems more enhanced- I think because we took that final step and very happy. The "newlywed" phase is as long as you make it last. In life there is nothing but choices to make. You can CHOOSE to go to bed angry, you can CHOOSE to argue and fight, you can CHOOSE to nitpick, etc. Love is constant work and dedication. Choosing to love, compromise and respect one another is far more easier than turning on one another. Anger, hate and spitefullness takes far more energy and it is a complete waste of time. Enjoy love while you have it to enjoy and don't forget that no one is promised tomorrow, today or next week. I think being married (although a short while) has given me a new found outlook on our lives. I feel I value his time and love far more than I did before we got married. It is no longer acting as an individual-rather in tandem.

AKitten wrote:

I think it depends on the type of relationship you had prior to getting married. In my case, my husband and I dated briefly in HS and became friends afterward, matured through life experiences and rekindled our relationship many years later. We still are very much friends and lovers as a bonus. We've always had that flirty way with one another and now that we're married it seems more enhanced- I think because we took that final step and very happy. The "newlywed" phase is as long as you make it last. In life there is nothing but choices to make. You can CHOOSE to go to bed angry, you can CHOOSE to argue and fight, you can CHOOSE to nitpick, etc. Love is constant work and dedication. Choosing to love, compromise and respect one another is far more easier than turning on one another. Anger, hate and spitefullness takes far more energy and it is a complete waste of time. Enjoy love while you have it to enjoy and don't forget that no one is promised tomorrow, today or next week. I think being married (although a short while) has given me a new found outlook on our lives. I feel I value his time and love far more than I did before we got married. It is no longer acting as an individual-rather in tandem.

AMEN AND AMEN!!!!.....%100 agree!...

FutureMrsKeepUp wrote:

Awww Mrs. Soon! Happy Belated Anniversary! Hope your recovery is going well!

THANK YOU!!!!!...that year just flew by!!!