Hi ladies,

We'll be mailing out our invitations this Saturday, and we are allowing people to either mail in their RSVP card or to RSVP online. To RSVP online, guests have to use a pin # (it's written on the RSVP card they receive). Please read this excerpt from the instructions I've written out to appear on the website for guests who choose to RSVP online, and tell me if it sounds too harsh.

NOTE: You may not RSVP for more persons than indicated on the invitation you received. Should you encounter any problems or have any questions while attempting to use the online RSVP, please call or email us (you can use the

Dang Bama! j/k

It sounds fine to me. The only change I would make is to probably change the beginning to "Please do not RSVP for more persons...".

I'm hoping when I get to this stage everything will be on par from the RSVPs and follow-up phone calls (optimistic, I know). I'm having a buffet or family style reception so I should be able to accommodate. If its too ridiculous they'll be told to "try again in two weeks" for my son's b-day party!

FutureMrsKeepUp wrote:

Dang Bama! j/k

It sounds fine to me. The only change I would make is to probably change the beginning to "Please do not RSVP for more persons...".

I'm hoping when I get to this stage everything will be on par from the RSVPs and follow-up phone calls (optimistic, I know). I'm having a buffet or family style reception so I should be able to accommodate. If its too ridiculous they'll be told to "try again in two weeks" for my son's b-day party!

Thanks Future. I can't really say "please don't" -- they couldn't if they wanted to because the computer program won't allow them to RSVP for more persons than have been allotted for them. I just kind of wanted to explain that so they wouldn't think something was wrong when they go in there trying to RSVP for their aunti-momma-sister-cousin's daughter's friend named Pookie, if you know what I mean. My people, my people.

And LOL for them to catch u in 2 weeks for your son's B-day!

Oh, then your original version sounds fine to me! What online RSVP service are you using Bama?

Girl I have never heard of that idea in my life. I dont think that suggestion would work for me, but hey if it works for you then do it. I really dont want to be that rude to people who want to attend my wedding. I really dont think that there will be any unwanted guest willing to travel to a wedding that they werent invited to.

I would change this part, "NOTE: You may not RSVP for more persons than indicated on the invitation you received." to "NOTE: This system will not allow you to increase the amount of people that will be attending."

house, my folks would DEFINATELY try to just pop up. But, let them try it on 9-15. They are in for a rude awakening.

housewife147 wrote:

I really dont think that there will be any unwanted guest willing to travel to a wedding that they werent invited to.

Remember MzTazjia's wedding was all the way in Jamaica and she had guests show up that didn't RSVP!

SeptBride wrote:

I would change this part, "NOTE: You may not RSVP for more persons than indicated on the invitation you received." to "NOTE: This system will not allow you to increase the amount of people that will be attending."

house, my folks would DEFINITELY try to just pop up. But, let them try it on 9-15. They are in for a rude awakening.

LOL. You guys are too Much! Every time I come back there is so much going on. Bama, the checklist at the door is standard fare for any event where there are assigned seats. Just make sure you have ONE back up table for eight and seat the stragglers there. Oh and don't seat them until ALL your RSVPs have arrived.

You can let people know that you will honor only the RSVPs through other family members and the bridal party.

RUDE OR HARSH???? That was well written, and polite. I should have put that on my RSVP's people keep thinking that the blank line if a free for all. Auntie just sent back her card for 5! (I onle invited her?!?)
Bama, you did the right thing. Many ladies can learn from this.

I dont have any problems with guest who show up and uninvited as long as they know they are not eating a damn thing. No let me take that back, they better eat all they azz can during cocktail hour.

I just spoke with my MatronOH about her wedding. They had to bring out two extra tables (16 ppl). She was mad as ever. They had to pay for that at the end of the night and no one even checked with them 1st to be sure it was ok to feed the "extras"!

***BUMP***
For Ivy!

bamabride- thats the funniest thing I have heard all day!! I am still smiling. I would go with Rosetta and have an extra table or two - So I am from Africa originally and there are a couple things about Africans
1) We dont really do the RSVP thing (although its ALWAYS ON THE INVITATION) brides/grooms have to literally chase up
2) You EXPECT gate crashers- it comes with the territory
3) You CANNOT send anyone away LOL unless they are drunk, you really have no idea who they are, or they are really looking for a free party- the person at the door generally knows the families/friends of and asks for invitation- they use discretion
This is the best advice I have regarding the free-riders- The web- RSVP sounds fine!!

dreamgurl wrote:

bamabride- thats the funniest thing I have heard all day!! I am still smiling. I would go with Rosetta and have an extra table or two - So I am from Africa originally and there are a couple things about Africans
1) We dont really do the RSVP thing (although its ALWAYS ON THE INVITATION) brides/grooms have to literally chase up
2) You EXPECT gate crashers- it comes with the territory
3) You CANNOT send anyone away LOL unless they are drunk, you really have no idea who they are, or they are really looking for a free party- the person at the door generally knows the families/friends of and asks for invitation- they use discretion
This is the best advice I have regarding the free-riders- The web- RSVP sounds fine!!

Yeah, tell me about that... unless you have a destination wedding (make sure its really far) you can expect to have a whole lotta stragglers at your wedding.

And yeah, door lists are considered rude - as "you can't turn away blessings" - because the more people invite themselves to your wedding the more it shows that you're a "people person" - which is why a buffet is always the best bet!

Also an invite is simply a formality - whether one receives it or not, gatecrashers would always pitch for the wedding. And those invited are sure to bring an uninvited partner(s) along.

And as Dreamgurl pointed out Africans never RSVP - unless you take it upon yourself to call everyone on the list you should work with an estimate.

I am somewhat getting over this problem myself. My FH's family are the one's that dont RSVP for anything. I warned him that alot of his family and mine in some cases will be upset with us or not like us at the end of the day. i am having a guestlist at the door, one person from his side and one from mine to take care of seating and turn away those not invited, like on the show Whose Wedding Is It Anyway. she had an uninvited guest and the ushers allowed the guest to come in and say hi to the bride and groom at coctail hour and then was escorted out. and that's what i am doing.