yeah, cause its time to discuss it...

I also seen it already

I've seen it.

ok, well i will just be bold and ask a question to whomever wants to answer it. which couple did you identify with most?

sad to say, but I would be Tyler Perry's wife (lately-anyway)

Angela and Marcus all the way !!! To many similarities to name.

FH is like Marcus unfortunately. As far as the ass-kicking attitude I am like Angela but am a pussycat when it comes to FH. But let one of them kids' mothers disrespect me like Kesha and its on!

soon2bmsj wrote:

sad to say, but I would be Tyler Perry's wife (lately-anyway)

how so soon?

We are a mix of Tyler Perry and his wife and Angela and Marcus, more like the latter though.

I'm on birth control and it has completely ruined my sex drive (the Tyler and wife part)

Me and FH fight like cats a dogs though like Angela and Marcus, but we love each other. I don't down him like she did but we are both passionate people so we could potentially argue about anything. (We are trying to work on this though)

sweetnlow74 wrote:

sad to say, but I would be Tyler Perry's wife (lately-anyway)


how so soon?

I have been so bogged down with work it has been a while a very looonnnggg while since we have spent any "adult" time together; between my son, work, my other committments it has really taken a toll---we had made a pact that from 1/1/08-3/15/08 we were going to go stop anyway to purfiy ourselves and prepare us for our marriage. looks like the purification time came a little early...

ANGELA AND MARCUS!!!!! ...all the way to very end! Even when he put Keisha in her place for dropping their kids off on my porch with 2 packs of pampers 3 bookbags full of clothes and 2 bags of toys while he wasn't there and I was at work for my 12 year old son to watch them ...Oh I'm sorry we were talking about the movie ...Yeah Angela and Marcus that's us (without the burning ...LOL)

i don't know who we identify with the most. i have my angela moments, but dh is rarely marcus

Unfortunately, at the time the movie came out, I was in a relationship and I would hae to say that I identified myself with Janet Jackon's character

So what do you ladies think of the 80/20 rule? I was like Wow, that's deep and so so true. Very profound and worth remembering.

pamcrow wrote:

So what do you ladies think of the 80/20 rule? I was like Wow, that's deep and so so true. Very profound and worth remembering.

You are right pamcrow, i never heard of the 80/20 rule until i saw this movie, very profound. I don't think about dh that way (maybe cause i'm a newlywed). I do know that 9.5 times outta 10 the grass is not greener on the 20% side

Finally watched it!!Yeah on the regular we are like Tyler Perry and Wife definately he thinks i work too much am self centred etc etc- wants babies I am not ready to start etc etc and I take him for granted - but yeah we have many Angela Marcus moments (quite a few) I am sensing a trend- doesn't every woman have an Angela in her??

I knew about the 80/20 rule. Found that out when talking to a female friend when my FH was going through our mess, because there are times when I must admit that I very much identified with each one of those characters. I absolutely loooooooooooooved that movie and thought that Tyler Perry tapped on a market that no one yet discovered and explores it so very well. I can't wait to see what his next venture is.

So Ladies, what is our next movie? Wow, intead of a book club, this is turning into a movie club. What are we seeing next?

Let't talk about THIS CHRISTMAS... I will start a new post
me and FH went to see it 2 wks ago and I LOVED IT!!!!!!

i gotta make sure i see that one soon, thanks for reminding us

I can relate to all the wives...except Jill Scott's character....I used to be a Jill Scott in previous relationships, and even carried some of that over into this relationship....but oh am I a big girl now!....plus my DH wasn't having the passive stuff when we got together either.....I definitely have an attitude like Angela, but my DH rarely has a Marcus moment....but he has plenty of Marcus in him....As far as Tyler Perry, he's got that in him too, but it will be a cold day in Hades before he cries like Malik Yoba's character...my DH is such a "man's man" as he would like to call himself....Most of the time with his machoism...he is really a CAVE MAN....I can relate to Janet's character....trying to help every daggone body, and ignoring my own feelings.....but I'm still growing now aren't I?

I watched this movie again last night and it reminded me of something I was dealing with not to long ago and wanted my sistas take on.

If you saw the movie you know that Jill Scott was cheated on and her friends knew about the infidelity before she did. Angela wanted to tell her right away but Janet mentioned she may not want to know and some people get mad at you for telling them. The one piece of advice I was given right after I got married was "Don't let nobody tell you about your husband" so imagine the dilema when I learned the husband of a VERY CLOSE friend of mine whom recently herself got married was cheating. Figuring that I personally would want to know, I ignored the advice I was given and told my friend. The outcome of it all is I'm the bad guy who is jealous of them. Janet was right.

My question to the sistas is: Would you want your friend to tell you.

I know I would want to know but after such a bad experience, I don't think I could tell again.

I would want to know if my FH was cheating. I would be mad at my friend if she didn't tell me.
On the other hand I would find it so hard to tell some of my friends if their spouse was cheating because I think a woman knows when things are not right in their relationship and by a close friend cosigning it they hurt even more. Sometimes I find it better to be the shoulder to cry on rather than the bearer of bad news. Not to mention the other half who is gonna say that I am just jealous.

I guess I would be torn between the right thing to do for my friends marriage/relationship or do whats right for our friendship. It is a hard choice to make I would have taken Janet's way out.

hard call Pam...I was in a similiar situation and decided NOT to tell because I have been in the situation before and the outcome was like yours-my "so called" friend (of about 15 yrs) decided that she would wait to see what she could find out herself by going back to her "so called" man and telling him what I told her-BUT on the other hand, when I was the one being cheated on EVERYONE else knew and noone told me and it HURT; Once I found out, I begin to question everywhere I went and interacted with people-did he know? did she know? and it was a MISERABLE feeling!!!

A few years ago a boyfriend at the time was cheating on me. My girl friends and my sister knew. No one told me. But I figured it out because one of my girlfriends and the boyfriend at the time all of a sudden couldn't stand the sight of each other and were always at each other's throats. This was strange to me because she had introduced me to him. Originally, I thought the two of them had got it on. Anyway, I asked my girls & my sister and they all said "talk to your man". I confronted him and he told me that they had caught him at a club with another woman. Needless to say I dropped his behind so fast! I was hurt that my friends and my sister especially felt like they couldn't tell me.


If it were my husband I would definitely want to know. You have to know your friends & family. You know when people are haters and if they don't have your best interests at heart. I also believe that if someone is cheating they will be found out in time.

This is hard. I think if it were a close friend though ...I would have more of a "you tell her, or I will" approach if I SEE IT, and if I see it and she doesn't like Rhony's story, I would call homegirl up there to see for herself ...I don't know it always has a tendency of blowing up.

Me: Tell me please and let me go from there, I'll make the decision that's best for me.

Turiya wrote:

This is hard. I think if it were a close friend though ...I would have more of a "you tell her, or I will" approach if I SEE IT, and if I see it and she doesn't like Rhony's story, I would call homegirl up there to see for herself ...I don't know it always has a tendency of blowing up.

Me: Tell me please and let me go from there, I'll make the decision that's best for me.

Im with you I would rather know than not If your girls are your girls they will tell you i have the kind of girls that will confront hubby and call me up on the spot and i could appreciate them for looking out for my best intrest if its one thing i hate is to be around the people that knew and there laughing and grining in my face and knew what the deal was the whole time i would be very hurt either way but i would love my girls for telling me.

I'll tell you what, if anyone saw my man in the street with a chick you had best tell me! Take a picture, something!!!!! And get right in his face and let him know you are calling me right then!

I would be pissed if you knew something and didn't tell me....I am a calculating person, and I would do some investigation on my own. I may not confront him right away, but I will find out sooner or later.....

Bumblebeekee wrote:

I'll tell you what, if anyone saw my man in the street with a chick you had best tell me! Take a picture, something!!!!! And get right in his face and let him know you are calling me right then!

I would be pissed if you knew something and didn't tell me....I am a calculating person, and I would do some investigation on my own. I may not confront him right away, but I will find out sooner or later.....

I agree with you Bumble, tell me -- take a picture -- let a sister know! ....And as Turiya said I will make the best decision for me.

I agree with Rhonny and Bumble.
I was in a situation where I was being cheated on, everyone knew, shoot even I knew towards the end but I was in denial until I saw it with my own eyes. It tore me up that everyone was telling about him and what they saw while I wasn't with him. I dont know why but I just needed that proof for myself to give me that "umph" to end it all.

Tell me and let me go from there but don't sit there grinning in my face calling yourself my friend or family and you know I'm being disrespected! If I witness cheating, like Turiya said, I will make SURE he sees me and let him decide who'll tell. Or I'd call my girl and ler her see for herself. If its here say I'll keep it to myself.

so l finally got to see the movie online...picture quality wasnt as good but it was all worth it! its sad how they dont release black movies here in Australia..we miss out on a lot.so thank Jesus for the internet!!!

Wow! Are you serious?! That's a shame. It sounds like you're saying they don't sell or rent black movies on DVD either? I'm glad you got to see it. There's a lot of good African American movies. Tyler Perry has really been doing a good job. This year's The Family That Preys was expecially good.

Australia is an enigma to me. I know there's black folk there just like there are in Europe, and they get black movies.

its so sad hey.From the top of my head the only black movie l remember watching in the movies is American Gangster.Anything else l have had to download or request at Blockbuster for them to order it in.To be honest with u,l see racism here everyday even though everyone swears they are not racist.l think u get to a point where u get used to it or u just dont care.Since Obama's victory l dont knw anyone (white folk that is)who has expressed interest or passed a positive comment about it. Its funny how they dont even teach their kids history or simple geography at school. Most of them dont even know where the hell Zim is.In actual fact they think Africa is one huge country with a lot of cities...lol funny but sad

Lolo, I read that Sarah Palin also thought that Africa was one huge country, and they had to drill it to her that it wasn't! LOL! I'm SO glad that she's not VP.

Ladies,

I have been waiting and biting my tounge on comments about racisim, but I can't do it any longer. I am a caucasian female who is marrying a black man. I am very happy that Obama won the election. I was a primary support person for my union of teachers here in Kansas City, MO. I set up phone banks, door to door visits, pacing signs in supporters yards, etc.... BUT the most upsetting thing is talk about not teaching children history and geography, that is BULL*bleep*! I am teacher. I teach history and geography. I talk about Africa being a continent and that there countries that make up that continent. I teach about all that has gone on through time to change our country's history. So excuse me but WE NEED TO STOP BLAMING EACH OTHER AND AS ONE!

Whats there to get upset about Mrs. Taylor. Australia not keeping a stock of black movies has nothing to do with the work you are doing. Which is good work. Don't get offended or take it personal. The people here are making comments about what they go through on a regular basis. Some people MAY be generalizing towards the whole of the target audience...which isn't good, but for most of us, no we are taking specifically about persons of other races that they encounter.

My stepdad is Italian, and I can say (and he agrees) that where he is from in Yonkers, Italians tend to be racist. Its not mean, the truth is the truth, but he loves my mom so much, he barely speaks to his own mom cause she is so racist. But so what, she is one person!

Its true though, you don't live in Australia so you can't speak for her experience. Being that you are white, you can't speak for me either. All you should do is continue fighting the good fight by teaching history of all cultures and geography as you are doing now!

And to tell the truth, in some parts of this country, its NOT BULL, its the truth. Its not taught, or its taught so haphazardly in a way that it seems to not be as important as European History. Same for other cultures too. Not even because the teachers may not WANT to teach, it, its sometimes because they cannot teach it at proficiency, because their background on it is shoddy. They weren't paying attention in college or grad school or whatever....So it depends on the teacher. Black teachers included. So it is what it is...Your students are very fortunate to have you teaching them this information, whether its African, Australian, European, Asian, Middle Eastern, or Whatever....

Well said Bumble!

Bumblebeekee wrote:

....So it depends on the teacher. Black teachers included. So it is what it is...Your students are very fortunate to have you teaching them this information, whether its African, Australian, European, Asian, Middle Eastern, or Whatever....

Bumble, you're absolutely correct. I know I'm very grateful for the wonderful education I received from both black and white teachers. When I felt they weren't doing their job, I was blessed that I could switch schools.

Mrs. Taylor, you did a great job in supporting Mr. Obama. However, it's easier said that done to say "WE NEED TO STOP BLAMING EACH OTHER AND AS ONE!" In a perfect ideal world this would be possible, but as Bumble mentioned, different people have various experiences, and their worldview depends upon this experience. Hopefully, with each generation we will progress, and things will get better. With Obama elected as the next president, I'm already seeing progress in the USA that's been a long time coming. Other countries have surpassed us in this type of progress, while there are some countries that still haven't caught up. All we can do is keep praying and moving in a positive direction, teaching right and wrong. Afterall, we are ONE human race, more alike than different, and with each individual having so much to contribute.

You realized that and was able to love your man, and he love you. That's a beautiful thing. Congrats! However, know that in life, your man has most likely experienced racism whether overt or covert, and probably will continue to experience it in some form. Any children that you have with your future husband may also experience racism. When that happens, you need to try to understand and deal with it effectively.

very well said ladies.

I know that my FH has experienced racism. We are fighting that together. He is trying to get a 2nd job so we can save up more money for when we have kids and he was told by a lady that she didn't know if her customers were ready for a "black" cook. He was so upset. He has over 26 years experience being a cook and she wants to judge him based on his skin color? Oh HELL NO!!!! I am the one that pushed him to file a complaint with the EEOC. I know if we have kids we they will face problems. Heck I even face comments made to me by people of BOTH races against myself and the man that I love and WILL marry. I don't care what people say or do, I'm going to do what is best for the both of us.

future_mrs_taylor wrote:

I know that my FH has experienced racism. We are fighting that together. He is trying to get a 2nd job so we can save up more money for when we have kids and he was told by a lady that she didn't know if her customers were ready for a "black" cook. He was so upset. He has over 26 years experience being a cook and she wants to judge him based on his skin color? Oh HELL NO!!!!

Well, she might not be ready for a black cook, but she better get ready for a black President! Fighting the good fight is what good folk have been doing for centuries, and we've got to keep pushing on. I know your future husband must have been pissed when he heard that. I know I was certainly pissed when I got a similar reaction at a part-time job of mine right here in Baltimore. Yep, Baltimore, of all places. You keep on doing what's best for you and your family. The most important thing is to always stick to your principles. In the end, you will come out on top.

future_mrs_taylor wrote:

Heck I even face comments made to me by people of BOTH races against myself and the man that I love and WILL marry. I don't care what people say or do, I'm going to do what is best for the both of us.

Good for you FutureMrsTaylor, ignorance should never be tolerated! I am sure he will find a 2nd job that will appreciate him for the skill that he has. I wish you and you FH all the best! God bless.

Thats right Future_Mrs_Taylor....

And don't ever back down! God always has the last word!