Hey ladies...for about 1 week my MOH has been REALLY distant...I have tried to keep in contact with her daily (like we have always done) but she is real dry, non-chalant etc... I have asked her if everything is ok or is something on her mind and she always says everything is good. I know we as women go thru "down" times, but this is so unlike her and Wedding talk??? it is even worse, she acts VERY unconcerned to the point that I have stopped saying anything to her about it...I know the saying goes "noone is excited about your wedding but you" BUT it is getting down to the wire and I really need someone else to bounce my thoughts and ideas off of besides FH because he has not a clue--I know I got my ViBride sistahs but I don't want to start getting on yall's nerves so do you think it is just me being paranoid or her???

I went through with both of my MOHs. Is your MOH married? Perhaps she may feel like she is loosing you. Or it may just be a case of jealousy. I went through with my ladies and I even had one drop out at the last minute.

Soon2bmsJ, I understand your dilemma. Do what makes you happy -- and if sistagurl doesn't shape up, you may have a decision to make. In any event I wish you the best with this situation because no bride should feel like they don't have the support of their MOH/bridal party.

Soon2b it might not even be about you. It could be the approaching holiday. Alot of people get depressed about finances around this time of year. Ease up on wedding talk with her and see if she acts differently.

I agree with the ladies here.

Yes, she could have the holiday blues. As far as her duties, make sure the important stuff is on target as far as scheduling, Shower, dresses, etc....wait until the beginning of the year to pick back up on wedding talk.

As far as what Rhony is saying, this is also standard fare. Unmarried friends either are mad they are not married, or maybe an engagement or possible engagement broke down. Or, she could be jealous....and if she is, don't be mad....she could be wishing it were her! Its no different than see ing someone driving YOUR favorite car....You don't dislike them, but you're like Dag! It should be me....Once things get closer...like bridal shower time, then pick the dialogue up. As long as her duties are on target, you have no worries...SOmetimes you have to encourage yourself, and get excited for yourself. It sucks...cause I went through it with my mom who's own marriage broke down, but I went to God, stayed determined, and pushed through....

Thanks ladies I will take your advice and just slow the wedding talk until 2008...you all seem to be on point...
1. she is not married (and has never been married) and actually she has a really negative attitude towards men because of her last relationship (which I can understand because I have been there too)
2. Could be jealousy-I only say this because our Singles ministry is having a Christmas gala (our Married couples always have a big New Years gala) and we were discussing who to invite because some of the singles want to invite married couples and I said well I don't think that is fair because the singles don't get to participate in the married galas and she said well, you will be in that group pretty soon--and I was like where did that come from??? and she kinda laughed it off
3. Depression-a definete possibility-she has always been vocal about how she is tired of being w/o a companion and living alone and if she only had a guy friend just to hang out with would be cool with her; also said that this year she is just buying a few things for her grandbaby and she is not trying to buy gifts for everybody like she has done in the past; also her grandfather passed away a couple of days before Christmas in 2004.

Soon -I feel your pain! Why do you think (and I keep saying I NEED TO STAY OFF THE BOARDS UNLESS I'M ASKED A QUESTION)I talk to yall soooo much?

It does seem like nobody is happy about this but YOU! Keep your happiness and you continue to shine!

I know Turyia and it really sucks! I have allowed LOTS of "friends" to bounce ideas off of me and I am truly happy for them! H*ll I even pratically planned an friends wedding for her because she was taking her time about doing everything! I guess this just rubs me in a different way because we both are toooo old for this type of crap and also my personal motto is no more drama-anything that even scratches this surface I let go...so I am really trying to be patient but I have found myself trying to make sure I don't say the wrong thing (kind hearted me always trying to be the saviour) but this is MY WEDDING!!!don't I have a right to talk about it???????????

Yes you do! This is the happiest time of your life!

Yes babe ...BUT only to those have YOUR BACK, GENIUNE INTEREST, and YOUR INTEREST AT HEART ....if they don't fall in one of these catergories ...what you say? No Drama? well let it be! Talk to those who want to listen ..those who get up at 4am just to listen, log in at 11pm just to listen ...asks questions to geniunely help ...those are who you lean on to be happier than your already present happiness. If you catching a vibe that they are not as happy as you think they should be, give them a small break of the talk cause honestly 9 x out of 10 the bride is the happiest out of the group ..

DaughterRhonda wrote:

Yes you do! This is the happiest time of your life!

well it is suppose to be anyway

Sorry to hear about your MOH issues soon. The ladies offered some really good advice on how to deal with this situation. Being that our weddings are on the same date, I totally understand your need to want to talk about the wedding! It seems like it will be here tomorrow as fast as time is going! All I do is call my sister (my MaidOH) and talk about the wedding. Thank God she is just as excited, if not more excited than I am, so she is always there when I need her. But I'm sure if you follow the advice given to you by the ladies, everything will work out just fine! Until then, you will have to call on your ViBride sistahs when it's time for some good ol wedding chat!! You know I am here to listen and talk to you, because we are observing the same countdown, and it is quickly ticking away! We have to enjoy this time while it lasts...hang in there

soon i went thru this also, it really is not you. my moh came thru for me in the end, but i really think it was about the fact that she wants to be married but hasn't found the right one yet, and also i was talking alot about my wedding. I was just excited, like i know you are. not only did my moh have a hard time, but one of my bridesmaids (who is also my cousin) has fallen into a deep depression. she is also struggling with relationship issues. she will come around, so don't worry.

Everything will be ok soon! Hang in there!

Sorry to hear about you situation.I guess almost the same is happening to me. The wedding preparations have helped me know who is who because some friends are acting so weird....and now i know what to discuss with who and what not to discuss with them. But all in all -all things together for good. lets just enjoys our big days!

Great advice ladies!

Ditto from Rhony's post! I appreciate all of the advice..it is so sad to hear that others have experienced or experiencing this situation also-but hey you guys are totally correct-I WILL NOT allow the enemy to steal my joy!!!!!!

Soon, this will soon resolve itself, but remember that it's your wedding and if your MOH is having some personal issues that she doens't feel comfortable sharing with you, you must respect that as well and I know she has cooled on the idea of 24/7 wedding talks, but as long as she's handling her duties, discuss all the other details with other friends. I'm not sure what is going on with her, but just let her know that whatever it is that you'll be there for her whenever she just needs a good listening ear. It will all work out sister, don't worry and keep enjoying your planning. Get excited, if you want to!!! It's your right!!!