Groomsmen?

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Thu 27 Mar 2008 10:24:36 PM CDT

Mrs080908

Joined: March, 2008
Posts: 404
From: virginia beach, VA (hometown and wedding in NYC)

Groomsmen?

I am new to the site but the information you ladies has been a big a help already in my wedding planning. Thanks

My wedding is August 9, 2008 and one of our GM hasn't showed up to any meetings and he has yet to get fitted for his tux. I want my FH to tell him don't worry about being in the wedding but he can still come to the ceremony. It's been two since and FH still hasn't contacted him. He says that he doesn't want to ruin a friendship but if he is really his friend wouldn't he be more active. Is it mean to tell someone you no longer want them in your wedding?

url=http://tickers.livingchaos.co.uk/] an image

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Edited: Mrs080908 (Fri 28 Mar 2008 03:24:36 AM GMT)

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Thu 27 Mar 2008 10:40:50 PM CDT

Musikana

Joined: September, 2006
Posts: 454
From: California

Re: Groomsmen?

Welcome to the site Mrs 080908! You are describing a simalir problems vibrides talk about on the boards. Why don't you let your groomsmen know that you're concerned and need to see more effort from him. Give him a week or so to make a change and if he doesn't, then he can't blame you for changing his status from participant to guest.

Edited: Musikana (Fri 28 Mar 2008 03:40:50 AM GMT)

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Fri 28 Mar 2008 05:53:33 AM CDT

Bumblebeekee

Joined: June, 2006
Posts: 1996
From: Tallahassee, FL (Originally Ft. Lauderdale, FL)

Re: Groomsmen?

Welcome Mrs080908!

With these weddings, the only one who will have it together is YOU! Don't even expect people to fall in line right away! As a man, they are likely to drag their feet, so I wouldn't devote too many brain cells to it right now. You have plenty of time, unlike the Bridesmaids dresses where time is limited. I would go ahead and talk to him, but don't threaten to drop him. He may be going through something right now, and you don't want to feel silly. I've had people go MIA on me only to find out they had a medical emergency with themselves or loved one, or I even learned a close friend of mine was a little jealous, and she just sat back a little, but she came back around. In the meantime I'm all pissed and there my friends were suffering alone, so lets not jump to conclusions in the meantime Smile

We see this a lot on this site, but most people come back around. You still have a few months....Give it time.
But just understand, no one is really going to be as active or as excited enough for you as the bride and groom (sometimes the groom goes MIA mentally too) so with that understanding, be the leader and queen you are and sit back, wait for things to pan out, and see.

We've been Happily Married 2 Years and Counting:)

a href="http://www.TickerFactory.com/">

Edited: Bumblebeekee (Fri 28 Mar 2008 10:53:33 AM GMT)

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Fri 28 Mar 2008 07:46:52 AM CDT

soon2bmsj

Joined: August, 2007
Posts: 2720
From: Dallas, TX

Re: Groomsmen?

I ditto 100% what Bumble said! now if it gets to be about June and he is still MIA-then get concerned because obviously he is not too interested in participating so let him know there is a lovely seat assigned to him in the audience!

Edited: soon2bmsj (Fri 28 Mar 2008 12:46:52 PM GMT)

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Fri 28 Mar 2008 07:58:19 AM CDT

Ginoue

Joined: June, 2007
Posts: 2361
From: Orlando, FL

Re: Groomsmen?

You've received great advice in what both Bumble and Soon has said. You have plenty of time and he may see it the same way. Men are babies, well, some of them anyway. He may feels that he has plenty of time to take care of his tux since the wedding is in August. Now, by the end of June, if nothing still happens, then I would be concerned and talk to him calmly, but you really have nothing to worry about just yet.

Congrats on your big day and welcome to the sisterhood.

Edited: Ginoue (Fri 28 Mar 2008 12:58:19 PM GMT)

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Fri 28 Mar 2008 08:00:24 AM CDT

pamcrow

Joined: June, 2007
Posts: 1700
From: Upstate, NY

Re: Groomsmen?

Welcome Mrs080908. Unfortunately, your story is all too familiar when it comes to wedding planning. Be grateful its a groomsmen acting up and not a bridesmaid because as Bumble eluded to, getting fitted for a tux doesn't require nearly as much time in advance as does a bridesmaid dress. If your wedding is in August he really does have some time. Give it to mid May before you decide to remove/replace him.

Like the other ladies have said, NO ONE is going to be as excited or active as you think they should because although your day is important and friends want to be there beside you in support, life doesn't stop in the meantime and everyone's priorities will shift from time to time throughout your planning. Speak to him in a couple of weeks, offering him a chance to step down without any hard feelings. If he sounds shaky when approached then give him a date he must be fitted by and let him know that if he doesn't follow through, you will need to make other arrangements but would still love for him to come and celebrate the day with you.

"I'm a work in progress, God is not through me yet"

Edited: pamcrow (Fri 28 Mar 2008 01:00:24 PM GMT)

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Fri 28 Mar 2008 08:55:40 AM CDT

Shy41208

Joined: January, 2008
Posts: 635
From: Linden, NJ

Re: Groomsmen?

FH still has one groomsman that didnt get his tux yet and we did know that he was going thru some financial situations and he told FH he was getting everything last week and still nothing, so he is now out. FH just got his suit and all his accessories 2 weeks ago. It drove me crazy, he figured since it was on hold that he could wait till the last minute. So I agree with the ladies, give him some time to come around then later on if still nothing then you handle it from there.

Edited: Shy41208 (Fri 28 Mar 2008 01:55:40 PM GMT)

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Fri 28 Mar 2008 02:32:51 PM CDT

MzPrice2B

Joined: December, 2007
Posts: 155
From: Salem, Oregon

Re: Groomsmen?

Welcome Mrs080908,
Looks like you're received all the advice you need Wink

Great advice ladies.. I'll keep that in mind. I always find myself having to tone down my excitement because nobody is as excited as FH and I. Lol

http://www.mywedding.com/cheynnieandstevenswedding

Edited: MzPrice2B (Fri 28 Mar 2008 07:32:51 PM GMT)

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Sun 30 Mar 2008 12:24:34 PM CDT

Mrs080908

Joined: March, 2008
Posts: 404
From: virginia beach, VA (hometown and wedding in NYC)

Re: Groomsmen?

Thank You ladies.
I decided to give him some more time before I tell him he is not in the wedding.

url=http://tickers.livingchaos.co.uk/] an image

[/url]

Edited: Mrs080908 (Sun 30 Mar 2008 05:24:34 PM GMT)

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Tue 01 Apr 2008 07:22:29 AM CDT

Ginoue

Joined: June, 2007
Posts: 2361
From: Orlando, FL

Re: Groomsmen?

That's the ticket. You handled it the right way. Continue your planning!!!

Edited: Ginoue (Tue 01 Apr 2008 12:22:29 PM GMT)

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Wed 02 Apr 2008 07:23:53 AM CDT

Bumblebeekee

Joined: June, 2006
Posts: 1996
From: Tallahassee, FL (Originally Ft. Lauderdale, FL)

Re: Groomsmen?

Shy41208 wrote: FH still has one groomsman that didnt get his tux yet and we did know that he was going thru some financial situations and he told FH he was getting everything last week and still nothing, so he is now out. FH just got his suit and all his accessories 2 weeks ago. It drove me crazy, he figured since it was on hold that he could wait till the last minute. So I agree with the ladies, give him some time to come around then later on if still nothing then you handle it from there.

You had to do what you had to do with that one, especially since you are less than 2 weeks away now. And you can't help him. Mrs080908, I think the Tuxes can be ready up to 3 days before the wedding, but who wants to wait that close to see? Especially if you need to decide on a replacement. But always have a backup plan so if you do have to do what Shy did, everything will still be smooth. Either way the wedding is happening anyways, no matter who drags their feet, hesitates, does or doesn't show up...It doesn't matter.

We've been Happily Married 2 Years and Counting:)

a href="http://www.TickerFactory.com/">

Edited: Bumblebeekee (Wed 02 Apr 2008 12:23:53 PM GMT)

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Sat 04 Oct 2008 09:30:11 PM CDT

Butterbean

Joined: December, 2007
Posts: 591
From: Dallas, Texas

Re: Groomsmen?

I'm so scared of my man's GM's falling through on getting tuxes that I have decided for them to just use whatever black suits they may have while we purchase their ties. All black suits look the same to me anyway.

Edited: Butterbean (Sun 05 Oct 2008 02:30:11 AM GMT)

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Sun 05 Oct 2008 02:02:28 PM CDT

VIPrincessBride

Joined: July, 2008
Posts: 774
From: Maryland

Re: Groomsmen?

Uh, Butter, what happened to the tan suits? Did you change your mind?

Edited: VIPrincessBride (Sun 05 Oct 2008 07:03:28 PM GMT)

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Sun 05 Oct 2008 02:08:40 PM CDT

Butterbean

Joined: December, 2007
Posts: 591
From: Dallas, Texas

Re: Groomsmen?

I'm just trying to avoid as much drama and procrastination as possible. All of the guys have a black suit in their closets, so I'm going to roll with it.

Edited: Butterbean (Sun 05 Oct 2008 07:08:40 PM GMT)

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Sun 05 Oct 2008 03:53:52 PM CDT

pamcrow

Joined: June, 2007
Posts: 1700
From: Upstate, NY

Re: Groomsmen?

Butterbean you should ask to see the suit they plan to wear beforehand. You really don't want any surprises. You could end up with one person wearing a black satin suit, another in black tweed and another sporting black polyester. Wouldn't be a good look.

"I'm a work in progress, God is not through me yet"

Edited: pamcrow (Sun 05 Oct 2008 08:53:52 PM GMT)

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Mon 06 Oct 2008 01:16:45 AM CDT

Mrs080908

Joined: March, 2008
Posts: 404
From: virginia beach, VA (hometown and wedding in NYC)

Re: Groomsmen?

Well we ended having to pay for the tux of 1 of the GM, Me and DH took \\most of the tuxes back ourselves but we recently found out the GM whose tux we paid for never returned his tux.

Butterbean definitely take a look at their suits the last thing you are gonna want is to have someone up their with a suit that they call black but you would call ashy. It will not be a good look and you want everything to be perfect on your day.

url=http://tickers.livingchaos.co.uk/] an image

[/url]

Edited: Mrs080908 (Mon 06 Oct 2008 06:16:45 AM GMT)

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Mon 06 Oct 2008 07:50:44 AM CDT

DaughterRhonda

Joined: May, 2005
Posts: 8133
From: Jersey City, NJ

Re: Groomsmen?

pamcrow wrote: Butterbean you should ask to see the suit they plan to wear beforehand. You really don't want any surprises. You could end up with one person wearing a black satin suit, another in black tweed and another sporting black polyester. Wouldn't be a good look.

And the people said Amen. Unfortunately, sometimes drama can't be avoided, but you must remember that this is your wedding. Don't let anyone compromise your wishes for your own wedding. All the best Butterbean!!!!

Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37

Edited: DaughterRhonda (Mon 06 Oct 2008 12:50:44 PM GMT)

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Mon 06 Oct 2008 08:02:39 AM CDT

cmt

Joined: April, 2008
Posts: 532

Re: Groomsmen?

Butterbean,
I agree with Pamcrow. Try as hard as possible to get the guys uniformed. Think about your pictures. Think about how much time and effort you've put into planning and making this day special for you and FH. I say "DONT COMPROMISE"

Edited: cmt (Mon 06 Oct 2008 01:02:39 PM GMT)

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Wed 08 Oct 2008 06:48:35 AM CDT

Butterbean

Joined: December, 2007
Posts: 591
From: Dallas, Texas

Re: Groomsmen?

VIPrincessBride wrote: Uh, Butter, what happened to the tan suits? Did you change your mind?

LOL I got the biggest eyeroll from FH after he tried on a tan suit and I told him that I liked him better in black.

None of them are going to come out looking like John Witherspoon. LOL I know them and seen all but his friend in their black suits before. It's really not that big of a deal and it would take a load off our plates.

Edited: Butterbean (Wed 08 Oct 2008 11:48:35 AM GMT)

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Wed 08 Oct 2008 08:03:50 AM CDT

Ginoue

Joined: June, 2007
Posts: 2361
From: Orlando, FL

Re: Groomsmen?

Butterbean, I must admit that I am with Pamcrow on this one. If you choose to go with the all black suit to avoid drama on the part of your GMs, then by all means, have a getting to know you party and ask them to bring their suits with them. You really cannot afford any surprises on your wedding day. You do want them to be somewhat uniformed so that your pictures could come out well. So don't feel embarassed about asking, just ask and this will be a huge check off your list. Keep a smile on your face and when that fails, try a margarita!!!

Edited: Ginoue (Wed 08 Oct 2008 01:03:50 PM GMT)

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Thu 12 Nov 2009 12:48:02 AM CST - In response to Mrs080908

carrollove

Posts: 94
Website

Re:Groomsmen?

Thanks for the advices Groomsmen will love it your advices...

cleveland wedding videography

Edited: carrollove (Thu 12 Nov 2009 06:49:55 AM GMT)
Reason: Wrong spelling

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Wed 02 Dec 2009 09:30:40 AM CST - In response to Mrs080908

mistee

Posts: 112
From: Miami, FL

Re:Re: Groomsmen?

Mrs080908 wrote: Well we ended having to pay for the tux of 1 of the GM, Me and DH took \\most of the tuxes back ourselves but we recently found out the GM whose tux we paid for never returned his tux.
Butterbean definitely take a look at their suits the last thing you are gonna want is to have someone up their with a suit that they call black but you would call ashy. It will not be a good look and you want everything to be perfect on your day.

Hi Guys! I'm new, so bear with me!
I can't believe one of the groomsmen didn't return his tux! Why didn't HE have to pay for it?? Outfitting and wrangling the groomsmen is the grooms responsibility isn't it? I am making sure my FH gets his boys in CHECK. I sure don't want to pay for nothin more than I got to.
I saw this pic and they just let the groomsmen wear whatever suit they had handy. I just can't wrap my mind around it. I just can't.
an image

So Blessed to be in love and to be loved back.

Edited: mistee (Wed 02 Dec 2009 03:31:26 PM GMT)

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Thu 17 Dec 2009 11:47:01 AM CST - In response to mistee
Rosetta Joined: February, 2004 Posts: 2606 From: USA Website	Re:Re:Re: Groomsmen? Why does the only black amn in that pic wearing the grey suit! Why???? Maybe no one told him they were wearing navy or black suits. Brother man just didn't get the memo! lol Add the perfect finishing touch with beautiful Bridal Jewelry.
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Thu 17 Dec 2009 02:58:59 PM CST - In response to Rosetta
Butterbean Joined: December, 2007 Posts: 591 From: Dallas, Texas	Groomsmen? About that groomsmen picture, it depends on how formal the wedding is going to be. For an informal wedding, those mismatching suits actually works in my opinion and I can see a grey theme within the picture. It makes me want to see the entire wedding party. I think that it's a pleasent picture, overall. I've also found this collage were the guys wore different suits (top right corner) as well as the bridesmaids. While their outfits weren't matching, they compliment their surroundings just fine in these pictures. Alright, this is the first time I've sat down and compared the black suits my guys wore. Hubby, on his own, got his boys together and rented suits while my cousin (second from the right) had to come in at the last minute as a replacement with something from his own closet. I must say that my cousin's suit looked better than the others, but it didn't stand out so much that people questioned it. Other than that, I was just glad that they made it on time and were in good spirits.
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Thu 17 Dec 2009 06:06:23 PM CST - In response to Butterbean
Rosetta Joined: February, 2004 Posts: 2606 From: USA Website	Re:Groomsmen? Butter your guys look very uniform. I would not notice that thier suits weren't identical at all. All the blacks are black. I get what you are saying about informal weddings. They are meant to be casual and free and loose. I didn't even THINK about a casual wedding. I'm a black or white tie kinda gal In your casual wedding photo whille all the suits are different shades they all seem to be the same KIND of suit-- single breasted in a 50s style. In that way they are uniform. It looks really hodgepoge in Mistee's photo. Add the perfect finishing touch with beautiful Bridal Jewelry.
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Fri 01 Jan 2010 07:54:03 AM CST - In response to Rosetta
mistee Posts: 112 From: Miami, FL	Re:Re:Groomsmen? yeah they just look random to me too. It looks like just before the wedding they asked people to stand up and join in the fun! So Blessed to be in love and to be loved back.
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Wed 03 Feb 2010 01:24:46 AM CST
carrollove Posts: 94 Website	Hello Anyway, you have plenty of time and he may see it the same way. Men are babies, well, some of them anyway. cleveland wedding videography
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Fri 05 Feb 2010 06:18:13 AM CST - In response to carrollove
Rosetta Joined: February, 2004 Posts: 2606 From: USA Website	Re:Hello UR 2 funny Carollove. Add the perfect finishing touch with beautiful Bridal Jewelry.
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Fri 12 Feb 2010 04:50:48 AM CST - In response to Rosetta
carrollove Posts: 94 Website	Re:Re:Groomsmen? Well, If he is notinterested in participating so let him know there is a lovely seat assigned to him in the audience. cleveland wedding videography
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Tue 27 Jul 2010 03:24:41 AM CDT - In response to Mrs080908
gloria2010 Posts: 4	Re:Groomsmen? www.dressestrade.com provides you fantastic wedding dress with nice service. So come on !
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Thu 05 Aug 2010 06:53:35 PM CDT - In response to gloria2010
Ginoue Joined: June, 2007 Posts: 2361 From: Orlando, FL	Re:Re:Groomsmen? Gloria, we do not advertise here without prior permission from Administrations. We're here exchanging ideas only. So bugger off please!!
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Groomsmen?

Mrs080908

Musikana

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Ginoue

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VIPrincessBride

Butterbean

pamcrow

Mrs080908

DaughterRhonda

cmt

Butterbean

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