Can you divas help clear up a confusion I have?



If you opt for a civil marriage months or days before your wedding celebration which becomes your wedding anniversary? The date of the civil marriage or the actual wedding day when you had the pastor bless you?



Did any of you divas go this route or are you planning on doing it this way?



BTW - I'm going to have a religious ceremony officiated by our pastor on our wedding day. So I guess you can just say that the question has always bugged me and I thought it wouldn't hurt to find out from you gals.

Well, years ago, my sister went that route mainly for financial reason and secondly, the catholic church was giving her a lot of flack over the fact that she was previously married and later divorced, eventhough she was never married in the catholic church. It took 9 years for her to go through the process of writing the vatican in order to have the 1st wedding lifted. As far as Protestant religions are concerned, as long as you weren't previously married in the church, they will give you a religious ceremony, pending on your faith. But different churches employ different doctrine. You should really ask your pastor.



Now, personnally, I don't think there's anything wrong with having a civil ceremony. The date of your civil ceremony could be considered your official engagement date and your church ceremony will then be celebrated every year as your anniversary. I think though that it's a personal choice.

I think whatever date you submitted on the marriage license application (where it asked you for the date of the marriage/ceremony), should be declared your wedding anniversary.



I would probably use the civil date because technically you're married from that point on. Regardless, of when you have the celebration.

I was reading an article concerning this the other day. It seems many people are increasingly having both for various reasons. Many times people need to have a legal marriage long before the actual wedding can take place. According to the couples who were interviewed, the day they celebrate their anniversary was a matter of personal choice.



As an aside to this, my friend, who was married in Spain, got married in a civil ceremony in court so that she could become a Spanish citizen and be able to work there. However, they weren't able to have a wedding as yet. I guess they were still saving. The following year, they had a wedding at a hotel for family and friends. She wrote me that the hotel wedding was also a civil ceremony and that her desire was to have a religious ceremony maybe in a few years. I'm guessing that they weren't able to have a religious ceremony because he's Catholic, and she isn't.



I know it was extremely important to me to have a religious ceremony, to have our marriage blessed by God. It wouldn't have felt right for me otherwise. As a couple, that's who we are, even though it was outdoors. I even specifically asked the wedding director at the hotel about the choice of officiants because I didn't want one of those "ordained" ministers who get their ordained status simply by submitting their name on a website and getting something in the mail. I mean, they take anyone, with or without religious teaching and understanding, including warlocks and witches! Oh, no! Can you imagine the presence that would be there at the ceremony as you start your lives together?

Thanks for clearing that up ladies. When we had our traditional marriage last year, we had the option of cementing our marriage by having a civil ceremony and getting our pastor to bless us when we do have our wedding celebration this year.



However like you Vi, it has always been important to FH & I that we be married by an ordained pastor. I guess I was just wondering about the anniversary issue - if one goes the civil route before the celebration - but like you've indicated its a matter of choice how one would celebrate the dates.

I know a friend who did this because the guys parents were pastors. Morally they could not deal with the issue of being intimate before marriage so they got married. Months later they had a wedding, but only a few knew that they were already married. I would think you acknowledge the actual day you were married and not the celebration as your anniversary date. Assuming your parents know you already tied the knot, it would be your preference in the end.

Your anniversary is the date you were married --whether civil or religious. You can get married TWICE, but both weddings are equally valid in the eyes of the law. If you are religious, then the only marriage sanctioned by God would be the one done by a priest or other clergyman.

I am hoping to have a civil marriage this year and then a wedding next year for financial reasons. I think I would celebrate the day of the wedding as our anniversary.

God wants you to follow the law of the land you live in. Your marriage date recognized by the court-i.e. the date on the marriage license is the actual wedding date by law. So whether its civil or "religious" (Huge Quotes), its recognized by God.



That being said, if you choose to acknowledge or celebrate the wedding ceremony at a church that you have AFTER the date on the marriage license then make sure the right people know the wedding date....Like your kids. Some people learn that their parents were married before (or later-HA!) the date the told everyone else-after the parents died.

However you should celebrate the day most special to you...so

the day you choose to acknowledge as the anniversary doesn't matter. But its my belief that the date on the marriage license speaks volumes....and is equally as special as the day you say your vows to a Pastor in a "Church". Remember the church is in you so it doesn't matter if its a courthouse or under a tree. But what's on that marriage license is the exact day you are recognized by law as a married couple...And to me that was important....Now we didn't need to hurry and get married so we went the traditional church wedding, but the original plan was to get married under a tree in front of a gazebo 250 miles from our home, but logistically it was hard for me to plan that from so far away with my schedule and all.

i will choose a religious marriage cause its nice to be sacremented to our offciated priest...

Bumblebeekee wrote:

God wants you to follow the law of the land you live in. Your marriage date recognized by the court-i.e. the date on the marriage license is the actual wedding date by law. So whether its civil or "religious" (Huge Quotes), its recognized by God.

Bumble, you know I love you. But Civil ceremonies are not religious when when officiated by non-clergy. A legal official regulates civil ceremonies, whereas in a religious ceremony a religious officiant will be the one leading the ceremony. Civil ceremonies can be carried out by mayors, judges, or anybody else
that is certified by the state to do that.
A civil ceremony is probably the easier of the two to plan out. A civil ceremony that is carried out within legal proceedings of each state is almost all you need to get married. As no religion is involved the rest
of the ceremony is left pretty much open to you. You can get as creative as you would like.

It all depends on whether you want a covenant or a contract with your spouse.