Hi ladies IM BACK! For those of u who remember me I so miss u guys! I pop in everynow and then to see what u guys are talking about. I see alot of new people and I love alot of the ideas u guys come up with.Now to why I came to visit: My SIster- in -law is ready to do her 15 year vow renewal because she had a small vegas wedding and now wants a bigger 1 at home. I love wedding and eventually want to be a wedding planner so I told her I would help her plan it. She has no idea what shes doing so a large chunk of responsibility is on my hands. Hubby is a handful more about him later.But anyways they will be having the 2nd wedding 2 days b4 their actual anniversary date (16th) the day will be Aug 14th 2010.  She wants a Carribean theme set in her backyard. Hubby says the budget is $5000 to $7000 max! besides wanting a lighted tent in the backyard thats all she knows she wants.How do I help her plan her wedding without putting my own spin/ideas on things because it is her wedding?(some of u know I was originally going to get married in the same place but that never happened) As far as planning I know pretty much what I am doing because I planned my own wedding for 2 years (even tho we didnt get married) and I still have all the basic info and I always keep up with that kinda of stuff but the Hubby doubts everything I say or do. He says everything has to be planned out and he signs off on it b4 he will agree to anything or pays for anything or but he refuses to give his input. He makes things hard but I really wanna help her out because shes one of my bff's! Should I continue to help her plan or just leave the whole thing alone and let her do it on her own? I dnt wanna loose a friend but I know the hubby will take me there. I know I said alot, just tell me what u think about the situation. I will give more info if need be.Thanks u guys!

Hey girl! I think that you should continue to be there for her in the planning process but at the same time maybe just let her present some of the ideas to him to see how he acts with that, and let them agree and disagree...it seems that he just wants to feel like he is in control of the whole thing. But of course if things go left and start to affect your friendship, i would say back out before it gets too late and let her know that you are still her bff and you love her dearly but sometimes business and friendship dont mix well.

Welcome Back ALvinslove! You should guide her the way you do other brides on here. Not pushing your ideas, just making them available as long as you know the final descion is her and her husband's. His budget is realistic for a backyard vow renewal. The largest expense would be the food. I don't remember how their yard was. Is it a developed garden? Does it have a charm or would you have to get flowering plants put in?
Hanging flower garlands or crystals from the trees is an inexpensive way to create impact:

Use flower petals as an aisle runner. This way the runner won't sink into the ground and the petals will biodegrade. Or just define the path:

Maybe she can have it at a local park. It's easy to get permission and its already gorgeous. They will even arrange for "Privacy" sometinmes.

My brother in law is a major control freak! He wants a say in everything but doesnt really say anything and knocks every idea we throw out there. Since THEY as a couple love brown and she loves pink she chose brown with pink accents as the wedding colors. And what did he say? 'No  thats doing the most!' so she asked what colors do u like or want? he replies "I dnt know thats for u to decide thats girl stuff." WTH! I dnt understand. And since this is what I had to go with for the past week all my work has been for nothing. I been searching for pics and favors and invites taht suit their colors and now it looks like its a waste of time. He's really stressing me out and I only been doing this for the past 2 weeks lol. Now I see why wedding planners charge so much but my services are free for her atleast. I will try to do as much as i can for her but we have another friend who will be helping me out so I can get her to handle some things so I dont get overly stressed out.

Hi! Ive missed being on this site talking to u guys and being a part of the planning info but im back! Well my SIL yard needs some work. As of right now its a play area for her home child care. There are no trees or bushes so wwe will need to decorate. I told her she has to think NOW about how and if she will take up the swing set because it wont work out with the swing in the middle of the yard. Also she wants a covered tent with lots of pretty lighting on the grass where the ceramony and reception will take place. we are expecting only about 50 family members to attend since they didnt get to attend their 1st wedding (in Vegas '97). The DJ and Dance floor will be set up in the driveway and the buffet will be set up on the open patio.  So far me and her sat down and mapped everything out so it could all work. I wanted to get pics and stuff so we have more of a visual to go with the draft we drew. but since he doesnt agree to anything it make my job even harder when it shouldnt be.

You sound like you have the "venue" all mapped out. But does her husband want to renw his vows? You should also stop discussing the wedding in his presence. If theree he will put in his 2 cents worth. This is not unusual. I'm sure yyopu guys remember how YOUR fiance's were during the planning. just have him show up, dressed, pressed and hungry. lol.
Make sure you tell your sister to stop yapping about the wedding to him as well. This will bring the stress lvl waaaay down.
I was looking for inspiration, and I found it through Victoria's blog.  She posted about Lena Corwin's wedding photos, and they look like my idea of a perfect backyard wedding!

These are from our Ceremony Photo Gallery:

How about how great the wedding photos will look on the playground! It is part of her everyday life and will bring out the kid in your guests:

Those pics are pretty! I like the ones with the playground. Her husband said he wanted to renew the vows when he gave us the budget. this is nothing new to him she's been sayin she wants to do it over again for the last 3 years and now is the best time. She talks to him about it because like I said he "wants to approve everything b4 he pays for anything". I dont talk to him about it tho. I talk to her since we work together and I leave it up to her to discuss everything with him. And most of the time when I ask her if she told him about the plan she said no, or he didnt like the idea. I will continue to collect the things I see, put it all in a binder for them to view and approve. Thats all I can do until they make up their minds and we can continue.

Alvinslone, you have a great outlook! I'm sure it will be spectacular! Are you catering the food or will it be potluck or homemade? What time of dya is it? I would say do it in late evening or at night, becuase that would hide any "sins" in the landscaping. No need for lots of flowered plants in the dark or by candle light! If budget is a concern string christmas lights in the hedges or if it is an ugly chainlink fence the twinkle lights will make it disappear.

thanks, I try to please!  The backyard has an ugly brick wall. I was telling her to do it at night so she wouldnt really need the tent unless it rained but it doesnt really rain much here in Cali in August. I also told her to buy Christmas light right after Christmas because they would be atleast half off and she would need alot of them. It may be close to impossible to find them when we need them later. but so far I havent seen her buy any. Maybe she changed her mind about that and will go with candles or something else. We shall see. If anything we can probably order them online but I still didnt want her to have to pay full price for them. She is looking to having a catered buffet style reception just so we dont have to worry about cooking and setting up the food ourselves. As the bride she will have enuf to worry about (she has 4 boys) that doesnt need to be one of them. As for me I am the planner and most likely will be in the wedding party (she hasnt officially picked people yet) so I really will have my hands full that day as well.

Welcome back Alvinslove.  We missed you.  It seems that all the advice that I could've given has already been given by our resident Diva Rosie (lol), but she gave you awesome advice to go on.
It reminded me of a difficult groom I had a few years ago.  Basically, you're doing all you can do, the rest is really up to his wife.  The way that my client handled her fiancee was to point blank ask him if he was sure that he truly wanted this because all he did was shut down her ideas and he had nothing constructive to say at all. She told him that eventhough he was financially responsible for the wedding, he must trust her to plan it as he trusted her to raise their daughter.  Girl, since then, her fiance was a no-show to most of the events.  He only showed up for the food tasking and rehearsal and was extremely cooperative too.
You're doing all that you can do.  It really does take a lot of patience being a Wedding Planner, so welcome to the club!!!