Our families are just to big to have a lot of friends at the reception. I am going to have the ceremony and all are welcome to attend and have sheet cake and punch in the basement of the church. I will decorate it. I think me and hubby can greet guest thank for coming and then bounce. Or I could just have slices of cake nicely boxed and have them handed out to the guests who are not at the reception as they leave? Thoughts?

Girl, we are definety in a Recession.  I do understand that you want to make a quick getaway to your fab Honeymoon. But STOP THE PRESSES! Your family and friends want to celebrate and bask in the love. Don't leave too soon. Enjoy yourself. This is your day.

If your families are that big, then I would have some helping hands warm up some appetizers for the reception. Im sure that if you ask, there will be people willing to help you out.
 

I think there's a way for you to have the ceremony of your dreams and celebrate with your friends as well.
Since your family is so big, I would talk to key members of the family and explain to them that you and your FH just cannot afford to have that many people at the reception as you're coping with a newborn as well.  Ask them since the majority of the reception guests are family, how about them contributing to the reception by making a signature dish, to be approved by both you and your FH prior to reception and bring it to the reception hall a couple of hours prior to the ceremony.  Tell them that you love your family and would love nothing better than to mingle with them afterwards, but you also appreciate your friends and this is a way to mingle with both without any hurt feelings. 
If you explain it to them, they'll understand and pitch in.  Trust me.  Also, to save money, why not see realistically how many people the reception hall of your church could hold?  Usually, if you're a member of the church, use of the hall is free.  Check with your Pastor to confirm, however, if you're not paying for the reception hall and your family pitches to help you cook, that will save you quite a bundle.  Then all you'd have to worry about is decorating.

We are paying for a hall but we are not having everyone at the reception Hall. We are going to have a church wedding and invite everyone. In the basement of the church I will have cake and drinks for all guest who are not attending the sit down reception at another location. My hubby and I will go and greet the guests in the church basement and thank them for attending the ceremony. We will then leave and have a formal sit down reception with our families. I plan to feed and so my appreciation to all my guests but in two locations. lol

I still think that you should do a little more than just cake and punch at the church. I'm not talking about an all out dinner, maybe a bag or two of Costco chicken wings that your close relatives can warm up, a fruit and vegetable trays, just a small array of refreshments like this:

 

IMHO why bother. Just not have a reception for the others. I would be hella pissed off if I knew I got cheese and crackers and after 20 minutes the bride ran off and had Filet Mignon. Just mentiion that you are having a private reception. Create a "cake Table" and champagne table at the side of the church. Avoid the basement. and call it done. Usually the intimate part, the ceremony is private. Not the gift to your guests which is actually the reception, not the $1.25 favors. haha. Just skip the cheapy reception. I think you would save more face.
Options:
1. Maybe you could have a DELAYED reception if money and time is an issue.
2. Cut down that guest list. girl!
3.  Swear all the "cool" people to secrecy so that word doesn't get out about the sit-down dinner.

"Just mention that you are having a private reception. Create a "cake Table" and champagne table at the side of the church. Avoid the basement. and call it done. "
An even better idea!

I like the idea of expanding the menu. I am goingt to have the wedding at a church with a nice basement that is pretty enough for a sit down reception. Some of you have great ideas.
1. I want to be open with people so I will word the invitatiosn accordingly and people will know that a lite fare reception will immediately follow the ceremony.
2. I may gve small favors at the lite fare reception,
3. I do like a slightly larger menu and I think COSTCO is awesome. That is where I got my party food.
4. I want anyone who wants to see the wedding to be able to come and this is the stressfree way  for me.
5. Lastly, if any guest feels insulted he can simply not come.
So, I am likeing the ideas. So, I think that decorating the basement, serving lite fare, maybe some favors and having a hostess or two who is willing to entertain the guests after we have left is sounding good to me so far. any other ideas?

The ceremony is private. Not the gift to your guests which is actually the reception, not the $1.25 favors..

I have begun looking at some churches and have found one with a nice hall in the room beside the chapel. I am hoping to see it soon.That way the guests can eat right after the ceremony and then we can have the sit down dinner an hour or so later. Thanks for the ideas.

I like that idea of the Hall next to the chapel. Cool. Will there be time for photos after the ceremony?

The hall is part of the chapel. So it is where they have there food etc I assume. I think I may try to do the photos before so that the time immediately after the ceremony can be spent thanking the guests before I head to the sit down dinner.
I really  like the idea of having it this way. I think it will work and people will enjoy it. There are so many people who would like to come and i dont want to totally exclued people. In the end it works for us and the guest who are insulted can opt not to come.
I am excited about planning and I have a meeting with the reception stie next week. I cannot wait1 I will keep you all updated.

Are you doing a theme for the casual reception? Let us know if it was a good deal. Others may choose to go this route too. especially seeing how happy you are with it. Happy planning!

We have finally set a date! We are on a super tight budget and the guest list will be very small but I am very excited. I have booked the hall and now we are looking for a church with a nice adjoining fellowship hall to book. Then we are on to  photography and flowers. I am pregnant AGAIN so I will have to leave the dress shopping until next year.
I am still going to have the two tier reception. The Swedish crown Princess recently had something similiar at her wwedding and I think it is the way to go.
 

Hello there my nubian sister.  Congrats to you and your hubby on the new pregnancy.
As for your upcoming wedding, please try and remember our motto.  I know that I've been MIA, but please remember it "YOUR WEDDING, YOUR WAY!!!  I think the idea of a two-tier wedding is absolutely brilliant.
Keep the ideas coming.

Thank you. It is great to be back. I am very pleased with how the whole things has been going so far. We have a reception hall. I am now looking for a church and then I will book a photographer and hopefully a videographer.

You are a queen in your own right so you can compare yourself to Swedish Royalty! lol Glad to have you back. Why are you booking a church AFTER the reception hall?

Well, I had to go with the hall we had placed a deposit on a few years ago. Also the church we attend doesnt have abluiding so we have to find a church to rent. I figured finding a church to rent would involve more thatn booking a hall. We are looking for a place that wont have a long ride to the hall and has a facility to have our cake and punch reception.

Ok. That's smart. At least the first hall is still letting you use the deposit left a few years ago. SOme will keep the deposit if the space isn't used within a certain time frame or at least charge high cancellation fees.

So an update. I have paid off more than half of the hall, booked a photographer and found a church that if we decide to will be able to have two tier reception.
After writing out the guest list I am happy with 100 guest. My husband I think would like to invite many more so the church we selected is able to hold 340 and has a nice dining area in the basement.
 We are both very excited about the church and having our ceremony there. Now I am going to ask my girlfriends to be in my bridal party and continue to pay off the hall and photographer. Once I lose the baby weight I will start dress shopping. I am so excited!

This church sounds like exactly what you were dreaming of. I especially like the dining hall below. It solves your problem of making the guests comfortable. Did you make sure that it is well ventilated or
cool down there? Sometimes it can get stuffy.
I am still trying to lose my baby weight and Goddess will be TWO YEARS OLD on Sept. 24! :/ Try dresses on now at your current weight and get yourself in the mood. once you see how beautiful you look now you will be
motivated to see how gorgeous you will be once you lose the weight. If you don't get all the weight off, you at least know what dress you look the most amazing in!
Love ya. Have fun asking your best girls to be in your wedding.

I am seven months pregnant so I am going to wait until after I deliver to try on dresses. LOL.
I am very excited though. We have to write a master list a figure out if we actually need to rent the lower dining hall. But I am glad tha we found a nice church for our wedding. Now what should be my next step? invitations?

I hear ya! I must admit it would be too much for me to wait until after the baby! Just too exciting to wait to see dresses.
Once you have the date locked down and the location of the ceremony for sure, then you can order invitations. Make sure you are happy with your color theme. You don't want to get the invitations and change your mind from a Morrocan breakfast to a Safari style extravaganza.

We are on a very tight budget so I am trying to pay off the hall and photographer before i move forward on the things like dresses, inviatations, and decorations for the church.
I am trying to stay as focused as possible. I will certainly slide into a few dresses as soon as I drop this baby. LOL

Ok. I am just excited for ya. That's smart to stay focused!Let us know how we can help!

NO - NO
Please do not turn your wedding into a potluck no matter what.
Cake and punch is infinitely classier - spend within your means, invite the whole family and understand that as the BRIDE/GROOM you are the hosts.
Do you invite people to your home and then ask them to pay or contribute to their food/water/entertainment?  No.

Bad Idea - who makes the cut and who does not
Terrible