Classy's Blog / Vent Haven - don't pay me no mind

[quote="TAJMOM"]I am sorry you ladies are having those kind of problems. I am not trying to make light of your situations but I am laughing too. Micheal Myers,,,groomzilla. Yall are crazy. On another note you ladies sound like Fh with the 07/07/07 @ 7 pm. He wanted to do the same thing. I vetoed the idea though. I told him I am not waiting until 8 or 9 on a Saturday, to eat or even begin the reception. I felt that was to late for me and my guest. I did concede to us getting married at 4:30-5pm ceremony 1/2 hour 45 min. I figure that long by the time everyone walks in, light unity, light memorial etc, procession, pictures,,,, we should be entering reception to the big announcement,,For the 1st time anywhere Mr. and Mrs.. @ 7pm on the dot. Then its party time!!!
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That was a good compromise! I know it's funny how I describe I how feel, but I can actually picture myself being undestructable like Michael Myers as I fling everyone around with one arm. SMH.

[quote="raysbride"]Classy, newbie here. feel u. even though i have until july, quickly approaching, i am having the SAME drama but from his side. my peeps are waaay smarter. if u arent invited then u are not invited dont play with me. i am having a garden wedding. trying to have it as lovely as possible at 7pm. with fmil adding people daily and he being too scared to say something im 'bout to explode on em. i am waiting to see how u resolve this so i can walk in ur shoes.
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As of right now, telling people no is not working or not being done. So, my coordinator is going to tell which table can go and get their food (I'm having buffet style reception) and she is having servers serve the correct amount. That way, none of the people invited can have any food that was meant for someone else. If extra people come for the ceremony, they will be forced to stand inside out of the way of the DJ and the people setting up. She has hired extra security as well. All of this over a small garden wedding is ridiculous! As of right now, no one is getting told about themselves so the coordinator is planning on how to exclude the uninvited guests from the menu. I'll update you on what else is being done or what ends up being said to someone's face.

[quote="raysbride"]uhm trouble. is security neccessary? my thing about uninvited guests is the site is located at the pier which has paid parking. parking staff ahs agreed that i only pay for persons with invitations so firdt off that should put off the leeches :) 'cause no invite no free park. i am only inviting 100 people but my planner says only 65-75% will show which is cool with me cause the menu is still set for 100. i dont mind leftovers :)

i have that nice, christian fmil that insinuates how she feels but when u call her on it she says that must have misunderstood her. oh and something else. since this is held near a huge body of water and late in the evening i have requested no children. the children that are in the wedding will be picked up by trifling mom at the end of ceremony(she is not invited long story). i have stated this several times. fmil says her sister will pay for her children to attend. did anyone NOT here me so fh and i are having a discussion later on.

but i am asking how do i handle this hiccup. they are teens but i want my crew to enjoy themselves sans children or wanna be junior adults(which they are) and relax we are at the age that we dont have any young kids and prefer no to party with them. we are having a family thing for fh family with kids invited since they are so family oriented, i call it nosy, after we settle in to marriage.

sorry so long that is my morning vent besides my expensive all inone printer wont work and i have a huge meeting with some folks in a few minutes and cant print!!!!!!pleese advise on future family i am known for my tongue and he is such a great guy. total opposite of me so i am trying to contain some of myself for him.
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Yes, I was told the same thing about guest turn out, however, everyone said they are coming who got an invite and we were only able to invite 1/6th of FH's family to which most of the rest are dead set on coming as well. so I brushed off that notion since I know these folks mean business and they only live 10 minutes away from the facility - something I didn't consider at the time b/c I didn't think this would happen. Our number was 120, now it's 150 and expecting 200. :o( The max capacity of the reception facility is 150.

They heard you, they just didn't consider what you said - and THAT'S what use to run me hot when folks do that because they will be the first to point fingers if poop hits the fan.

I feel you about having a tongue. That's why I come here. I get all of my pettiness and Michael Myers urge out so that when I do have to face them, I'm much more civil, calm, and hiding the butcher knife behind my back. :o)

About the printer: Appliances and anything electric will not work when you are in a hurry and frustrated. It's a rule amongst the electronic world to make our days longer and tempers shorter. lol.

As for future family, you have to be REAL careful, IMO, b/c you don't want to cause a rift between yourself and your husband due to drama with his family. I have a really sassy mouth that I have been working on over the last year and while I was working on it, I had to just stay quiet while around folks I knew who would try to push my buttons. I realized that I couldn't let anyone come into my space and drain my energy that easily. I was letting their silliness control my reaction and I wasn't having that! Finding personal strength, decreasing the sense of "have to tell them about themselves," creating more patience within myself and then the support from FH helped A LOT.
Now I just come here and type out the emotions that don't have a positive place offline in order to be at the mental state I need to be in to deal with them.

ETA: I was told the other day that I seemed calm and had everything together. While they were sayin this, I was like "yeah, but you aren't on vibride." LOL!

[quote="housewife147"]I got one better. My wedding colors are latte, champagne, ivory with accents of gold. My fmil informed me that she was not going to wear brown in july.
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lol! What did you say? Then what did she say?

[quote="TAJMOM"]I am going to start this post with DO NOT LISTEN TO ME! I AM A BAD INFLUENCE AND AM STILL A WORK IN PROCESS!!Now with that out of the way, you are talking to the slickest tongue on the East coast. This is something my ex husband and FH agree on whole heartedly. It's not true I tell you!:) I just believe in being honest and I respect that in others. I have never been a behind your back sort of woman because I give what I expect in return. WARNING: small family problems now will turn into big family problems later if not nipped in the bud and unfortunatly when it comes to women, men are incapable of really seeing what is in front of their face and handling the situation. What you are about to encounter with the fsil and fmil will always be. BEWARE of friends or family bringing messages. My ex mil had a way of keeping all the sil divided. She told all what the other was supposed to have said about them. The problem was 1/2 the time it was not true and the other half was a result of the person saying it on the strength of what they heard the other person said about them. DO NOT FALL INTO THIS TRAP!!! TREAT PEOPLE THE WAY THEY TREAT YOU AND ALWAYS KEEP IT REAL!!Even with FH. Do not accept now what you do not want to swallow later. Because then it will seem as if you are the 1 who changed when in actuality, you have always felt this way. The family is a major reason why me and my ex husband are no longer together. He came from a close knit family of 8 siblings and all that comes along with that. After 17 years of hoping things wld change and get better,I could no longer take it. My Fh has 1 sister, who I am still tired of, and his mom died a little over a year ago. Even when she was alive, he did an excellent job of keeping them out of our business since he had a prior marriage that did not work. I am not saying be mean I'm just saying don't start none, won't be none. Say what you mean and Mean what you say. I hope things get better and this all said out of Much love
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well. There it is folks.

[quote="TAJMOM"]Oh ,,,,and by the way family is great but I will pass on something my uncle told me right b4 my 1st marriage. If you want your marriage to work, move away from both families. Oh Yeah and he and his wife have been married for almost 30 years!!!
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I want to do that sooooooo bad, but doubt that will happen since FH's job and client base is here. :o(

[quote="shannon335"]Don't you hate when people think your pregnant just because you are getting married? I remember when we first told my pastor about our engagment the first thing he did was look at my stomach. Gosh can't people still get married for love?????
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Wow! The pastor looked at your stomach? I'm wondering if our pastor (his uncle) will ask if I am preggers during our counseling session...

Does the drama ever stop?

Vent 03/01/07:

So FMIL just pops up and says she purchased the dress after she went behind our back and said it was old fashioned. I told my mother and my mom had her eyes on another dress already, so she wasn't happy at all about that.

The seamstress tested my gangsta the other day. She had my dress FOREVER and she still wasn't done. Why I ask and I got no answer. By the time I was finished talking to her, she was telling me she would have it done in 24 hours. Gee. Why do I have to get all stuffy to get some service?

My cakes! Goodness. I went to match the bridesmaids dresses with the cake maker to make the right green. FH was NOT happy when our cost went up from what we'd already paid for food and cake. We're way over budget.

What's going wrong:

1) My maid of honor gave me the wrong address or something for sending her dress to her. Now it's lost. The tracking says it was delivered and she claims she gave me the right address, but...it's not there. She will have to be taken out of the wedding since I refuse to pay for another dress in her size. She was also suppose to do my make-up, but push is coming to shove. Very very sad issue.

2) My dress got make-up on it! There is a spot of some type of pink lipstick on my dress! I confronted my seamstress, and she denied it....which I DON'T believe her. So, I ordered Forever New to get the spot out. The package came with no Forever New bottle in it. USPS took it out and is holding it captive somewhere because supposedly it violated it's regulations. Sooooo...that is still being delt with. In the mean time, I went out and purchased the detergent of the same line and will use that instead until I get my money back.

3) The flower girl cones are on back order...so...I'll have to make my own.

4) My aunt may not be able to come to my wedding b/c she is being investigated by the FBI. Yeah...LONG story!

5) I finalized the custom designs, tinting, and wording on my cake. The groom's cake is a two layer cake and mine is 5 layers (...uh..yeah I think it's 5 now). Soooo why didn't they tell me I'd be paying $320 MORE for my cakes? (I had already paid hundreds on the cakes during the first consultation) We are wayyyy over budget now and FH is not happy at all. He's on fire...

6) I have 2 midterms and a midterm paper to turn in and take on saturday. Have I started studying? um....no.

Ladies, be warned! This is what happens when you plan your wedding in a month and 1/2.

[quote="SeptBride"]OMG Classy! YOu are really going through it. Here's my 2 cents.

1) Can you get a copy of the signature from UPS? Do you think she received it and is just denying it? That seems mighty, mighty strange to me. She still will not come to your wedding if she doesn't have a dress? I think she should at least do that if she's supposed to do your make up.

2) You'll be fine with your dress. Just use a white cloth when trying to get it out.

3) HOw long ago did you order the cones? They better give you your money back.

4) Girl, I had a similar situation in my family before. She can't leave the state or something?

5) What the....? Can you go back to the original design of the cake? I think that's crazy how much they went up.
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Thanks for responding! My MOH had her wages taken away from her by the government for the entire month because of trouble she got herself in. She has no money to feed herself, nevertheless come to a wedding. Therefore, I was going to pay for her to come down here, eat, and go back. Now that the dress is lost, I'm not seeing why I need to spend money on another dress plus her coming down here. I really feel she knows what's up with the dress and that hurts me.

I ordered the cones 3 weeks ago, and the company said they'd have them by the next week. Well, one week turned into 3 before they said they are on back order. So, they did refund my money, but it sucks, you know?

Get this: the grooms cake went up because of the freeze or something and the shortage of strawberries. Then they charged me for the columns that separate the layers. Then I had to argue about the tint for the icing because the lady admitted she had made the color for another cake, but was trying to charge me for making the color for mine. NOOOOOO! The fee is to make the color up from scratch. If you already have the color and formular for it, then you cannot apply a fee. Ok. So she backed down from that. Geeezzz!
Ok. off to study some more.

[quote="SeptBride"]Classy, is it too late to order from another company that can get them to you by the beginning of next week? Are you going to have time to make new cones? That sucks.

Also, the baker wasn't lying about the strawberry thing. I opted not to get fresh ones because of the prices. Makes you want to learn how to grow your own strawberries and take them to the baker. lol
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and don't you believe I was looking at seeds for growing my own while at the store?! LOL. Sure was. Oh well.

[quote="housewife147"]Classy just calm down. All of those things can be corrected. Your wedding will be more then you could have ever imagined. At least you still have a few days to correct the problems and it all isnt happening on the day of your wedding.
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This is very true. Good insight! Things are slowly looking better. My aunt confirmed she can come. She's just being questioned because she knows about some case they are working on. *whew*

[quote="sheawiil"]aahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! There I screamed for you. Hope you feeling better. I kicked the cat too. (Don't know what that mean I heard it on the Steve Harvey show, it was in one of the Strawberry letters) If you need me to punch some one for you. I can do that also I want go to jail at least not for long. I just came back from war so I have an Alley By. PTSD!LOL!. Tell the devil he needs to sit back and enjoy the show and stop trying to make a guess appearance. Keep your head up he didn't let you get this far to leave you now!
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Thanks! I felt all of that by transference (spelling?)/ osmosis. House was also right. She made me remember how much I was trippin when I saw that one of the flower girls had a silver front tooth in jan. right before we moved the wedding up. I almost died...however..that tooth that had the silver cap fell out and now she is in the snaggle stage..which is better than a "bling bling" flower girl.

[quote="sheawiil"]What is wrong with adding a little bling to the wedding?(LOL) Bold Text
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lol..and see, I don't mind bling on the older country adults. My mom just had her gold teeth taken out just a few years ago. So, I know the trend in the "country" with gold teeth, but these new generation whipper snappers with platinum and diamonds...NO. Flower girls with silver teeth? NO. I had to give FH's brother the stare of instant death when he said he wanted to wear his new grill. Ugh. Again, NO. lol.

I'm going to make a song for the people in my wedding. It starts out with them asking me to do something, change something, add somebody, wear a grill, ...etc.

"Can I bring my friends?" do-b-do-b-do .."NO!"

"Can you change your menu?" do-b-do-b-do.."NO!"

"Can I wear a chain and grill?" do-b-do-b-do.."NO!"

[quote="shannon335"]LOL A grill!!! Oh wow well I know what you mean the bridal party can be a little demanding. I remember when I took my girls to go do their first fitting one of the girls told me that she could not be in my wedding because there was not enough sleeve on the dress. Let me just say this dress was not spaghetti strapped or hung low way below the neck as a matter of the dress comes all the way to the neck line and has a v-line in the back and the sleeves come right over the shoulder line. So she told me to change the dress or she would get out. So I said do what ya gotta do then I went back and put a small sleeve on it and she called back and apologized and wanted to be in the wedding. Then one of the girls got mad at me for asking for the money for her dress she said that I was bugging her. I wanted everyone to have the same hair style and go to the same person and two of girls are like so cheap and they wanna do their own hair (I'm a really particular and detailed person). Then on of my bridesmaids who's daughter happen to be my flowergirl has not returned my call since she agreed to be in the wedding). Then on top of that my FH calls and says me and groomsman are gonna get us a grill. A GRILL!!!! Oh no I told him I want an elegant wedding and your country characterics gotta go. So then he was like we all gonna wear white tuxedos (ewwwwwwww). Well lets just say when I got done puttin the law down to my bridesmaids and my FH they all are now coming to me and saying tell me exactly what you would like me to do cause it's your day......
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You have me cracking up! LOL @ country characteristics.....and we share the same opinions about white tuxedos. It's okay for other people, but not for people in my wedding. I can't wait to see FH's cousin in his loud white suit. Looking like frosty the snowman at an ivory wedding. SMH.

[quote="housewife147"]I know for a fact no one asked you a silly queation like can I wear a grill. Please tell me you made that up.
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The best man did.

[quote="housewife147"]Unbelievable. Well you better check his pocket before you take your wedding pictures.
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I told him NO for the ceremony and pictures afterwards, but yes to at the reception. I don't care at the reception. He can do his B.E.T. thug look there and have fun with his family.

5 days and I'm not excited. My coordinator emailed me and told me that there will be no rap at the reception. Excuse me? No rap? Then what the heck am I going to shake my booty to? I'm a huge dancer. I danced semi-pro for 2 years during college as well as college cheerleading and taught dance classes. How can I NOT shake my booty at my own wedding? It's in my blood! She said there will be blues music played and nothing raunchy. UGH. Okay so now all the reception music will be catered towards the guests?

I politely emailed her back and told her that I mainly dance to rap and I hope there will be songs that I can dance to so I wont be sitting down the whole time at my own wedding. I pushed on her the line dance songs like cameo and the bunny hop. BLAH. BORING!

FH and I are both not getting the wedding we wanted. He wanted a 500 guest wedding with the whole community of his town he was raised in and I wanted a really small wedding with only close family. Neither of us got what we wanted. There are people coming that I don't want there and there are people left out that FH wants there. FH also says it's going to be wayyy too sunny. I agree. I forgot about the time change when setting the time of day for the wedding. How was I suppose to know when i had to do it by myself? (before I had a coordinator)

It's getting ridiculous! The funniest story all year for me: one of the ministers at our church heard about the wedding and talked to us a few weeks ago after church talking about what a blessing it was and blah blah blah....well tell me how come during Bible study prayer, he prayed for me and FH..THEN at the end he said, [b] "And Lord, please let me be invited to their wedding." [/b] LMAOOOOO! Wow! Is it that serious?

My cell phone went completely dead yesterday. It was acting funny all week and the battery is gone now. It wont even charge. This is horrible because we're having to have the internet people come out and see why the internet keeps knocking our home phone out when it's not suppose to. So, no one can contact me (by phone). My BM have been trying to call, my mom has been trying to call. UGH!

Also just got email from my mother. Remember the dress issue with my mom and FH's mom? Well, my mom's dress she wanted wont even be here in time - even after rush order fees. So, right now, it looks like FH's mom will be wearing the dress my mom wanted to wear! WTH? Lord have mercy....
I emailed FH's mom just to see if she got her dress too. I hope not. That would make my mom really sad.

Double "ARGHHHH" @ there are still family members calling FH asking if they are invited to the wedding. People he hasn't seen in 17 years are coming out of the woodworks...and for what? STOP STRESSING FH OUT! I really really do not like these people. They know it's a small wedding...they never talk to FH...so..why are you bothering him NOW?

ETA: It wouldn't be so bad if FH wouldn't be turning around and blaming me everytime someone asks them to be invited. He says it's my fault he can't say yes to everyone who asks. Now I feel like I ruined "his" wedding just because I was thinking financially and personally (since we only interact with his close family, not all these other people) when planning how many people we would invite. Excuse me, FH! :o( I want to cry.

Update. Just got another email. FH's mom's dress arrived. So now she will be wearing my mom's dress that my mom really wanted. I hope she sends it back and gets another dress.

Talk to yall later. I'm too too sad right now...

ETA: I emailed FH about the dresses. I guess I feel better now.

My email to FH: Yeah, but if she can send it back, that would be wayyyy better than wearing the dress mommie really wanted and the dress she doesn't like. Oh well. This whole wedding is a disaster.

FH's email to me: Please donot say that... Lets keep focused and understand that this is a special day for you and I. Lets keep everything in context of its true meaning.

ETA: FH's mom said she is wearing the dress. Why does she insists on ruining things for my mother?! Why!?! WHY?! I was cool with them both wearing it since they would match and my mom would still get to wear her dress. Now I'm furious and sad. Lord please help.