Ladies, I almost became a bridezilla this afternoon. My wedding is in August '06, and the deadline for the BM to get measured and pay the $100 deposit is THIS Thursday. Anyway, one of them called me this afternoon while I was in the middle of studying for a final exam to tell me that she can't pay until the first of the year. Of course 'the first of the year' means different things to different people. I asked about another BM and she told me that she is getting her puppy a knee replacement ($1400). At this point, only 2 BM have been fitted and paid. And the MOH is going tomorrow. I called the dress shop and the date has been extended to January 21st. Of course I'll tell them January 16th. Has anyone else experienced this?
Ladies, I almost became a bridezilla this afternoon. My wedding is in August '06, and the deadline for the BM to get measured and pay the $100 deposit is THIS Thursday. Anyway, one of them called me this afternoon while I was in the middle of studying for a final exam to tell me that she can't pay until the first of the year. Of course 'the first of the year' means different things to different people. I asked about another BM and she told me that she is getting her puppy a knee replacement ($1400). At this point, only 2 BM have been fitted and paid. And the MOH is going tomorrow. I called the dress shop and the date has been extended to January 21st. Of course I'll tell them January 16th. Has anyone else experienced this?
My goodness, did I EVER experience this!!! I asked two of my college girls to be BM as well as my husbands sis. My only choice for MOH lives in Ghana and couldn't make it so I relied heavily on my SIL since we live in the same city. THe college friends live in WI and SC so it was a lil hard to coordinate stuff but we found a way to make it work, I had a great seamstress making all the dresses so all I really needed were measurements and pattern choices. These women dragged their feet to the point that my husband suggested I ask them to step down if they weren't "serious." Ultimately the 2 out of town BM both said they couldn't attend so I just had my SIL. Now SIL was a trip too, she just played this non-interested game from day 1, didn't wanna look for or even choose a pattern, let alone the fabric, I mean she was just no help. Whew, this is getting long. Long story short, my SIL begrudgingly got a dress made and has spent the past couple of months since the wedding trying to apologize for being so foul. I am in limited contact with one of the BM and the other pulled an all out disappearing act. As for your situation Ms. Hampton, the only advice I can share from my experience is that you stick to your guns. Things get even more hectic the closer you get to your wedding day and u really don't need any added drama. Sit the ladies down, tell them the importance of them getting things done within YOUR timeframe. Most of all stay strong, lean on your FH for strength cuz sadly weddings bring about a lot of changes within friendships.
** It doesn't take the whole day to recognize sunshine **
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Hammy I have had my share of drama during my first wedding and to be honest with you...I think one of them still have not paid for her dress and that was almost 12 years ago [lol]..you will get that when money is involved....while I am not saying that it is ok....just relax, it is Christmas and you still have some time, they will pay and if they are faced with additional charges because of bad planning on their behalf then that is not your fault
Charlotte wishes you all a beautiful Christmas filled with loads of love, laughter and the true meaning of this blessed season.
It happens to everyone. It is rare to be able to coordinate all those BM & GM to pay at the same time. Get small installments on thepaymens ($25 at a time) That may be easily managed for our frineds on a budget. Also with bridesmaids so far spread out, consider ordering the Bridesmaid Dresses online and they will have up until six weeks before the date to pay and they can send measurements from anywhere.
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What is the name of where you can order dress on line?
In Sha Allah
Charley and Rosetta are right. These things are to be expected. My wedding is in June and my bridesmaids had to order their dresses this past Saturday. One of my girls dropped out the week before because she claims she couldn't afford it. The girls will make you nervous. Our appoinment was at 11am and 2 of them didn't show up until 4 and didn't even call or answer my calls. Like they told me....relax. Be confident that you have selected a bridal party that will be supportive of you. They will come through.
They will stress you out but only if you let em!...my take on it is...if they do not pay at the alloted time or in time enough especially if ordering on line then they just do not stand......stop sweating the small stuff, it will only mess you up and give you those horrible bags under your eyes.
Charlotte wishes you all a beautiful Christmas filled with loads of love, laughter and the true meaning of this blessed season.
you are right Charley.
You ladies just don't know how much I appreciate reading your comments. I really thought I was alone on this one. If they don't pay by the date in January they will become a hostess or just a guest. I've been leaning on my FH as much as I can, but he's still deployed overseas so he can only do so much. I told him to just get ready for his guys to do something like this. At least all of the BM and MOH are in the same city. The GM are all in different states.
WOW!...when you think you gat it bad...look down the road ah!....different states!...man he's gat his hands full, you worry about something tiny as BM's paying for their dresses...the man gatta worry about getting his guys all in one place at the same time...count your blessing honey. :-)
Charlotte wishes you all a beautiful Christmas filled with loads of love, laughter and the true meaning of this blessed season.
You are not alone hampton_s. My sister and MOH, whom I love dearly is having major boyfriend drama in her life and is not emotionally or otherwise available. I've asked her to do several things for me and she hasn't done it. She's always complaining about not having enough money, time, etc. I told her I would pay for my nephews attire to help her out, and still she is complaining. I am not able to do more than that. I decided to ask my best friend to be my other Maid of Honor & my friend has stepped up to the plate. I am so grateful. I try to be understanding for my sister, but I told my mom that if she doesn't get herself together, I will ask her out of the wedding because I can't be bothered. My wedding is not until 11/06. She has some time, but she has been so distracted for the past six months, and I am ready to get the show on the road.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
The easiest way to have the gowns paid for I find, is taking mini deposits from them in advance so when it's time to order them YOU have all the money up front. The BM's would five you 20-30 dollars a week until you've collected every dollar needed for the dress, shoes and whatever else they're paying for.
Living my life like it's GOLDEN!!
You know what...during my first wedding in my very early 20's I put up with the drama...now I am in my 30's...the show would have gotten on the road without the BM drama...life is too short for people to try and mess with ya plans....I refuse to allow people to stress me out, so with that said....deadlines will be met or the wedding day will approach without the people affilitated with drama. Enough is enough and that is too much! Like Ronny said she asked her Bestfriend...do that and avoid the silliness and added stress from people be they sisters, cousins, aunties, friends or whoever.
Charlotte wishes you all a beautiful Christmas filled with loads of love, laughter and the true meaning of this blessed season.
Phenomonique that is an excellent idea, I just hope that they cooperate. Like Charlotte said I have no tolerance for drama. I truly hope that all will work out fine.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
I thought it was just me. I guess most BM's start acting crazy when it comes time to put the money up. I had a similar situation back in October. They couldn't get together to pick a dress, so I did it for them. I had to let them know things had to be done ina certain amount of time to keep things on schedule. I also let them know that I wouldn't be dealing with any drama from them. I told them I would be as flexible as I could be, without making myself crazy. I have enough to deal with just putting the whole thing together. Extra pressure from uncooperative BM's will not be excepted. I let them know they didn't have to be IN my wedding to be at my wedding. You don't have to be rude but you do have to put your foot done. Set the limits of what you will accept and what you won't. Stick to it.
Yvetty I'm with you all the way.....that's telling em...you go girl [lol]
Charlotte wishes you all a beautiful Christmas filled with loads of love, laughter and the true meaning of this blessed season.