I'm Still Here

Plat,

Glad to hear from you! I pray that you continue to lean, depend and trust God-he will never leave you nor forsake you (as you have already experienced :)) I pray for your marriage, your financial status and your happiness!!

p.s. btw-thanks Bumble for uplifting our sister Plat!! the "sisterhood" is truly a blessing!!

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Do you have any suggestions on what I can do to get back on track?

BTW, I want to say "thank you" to Bumblebee. I spoke to her a few weeks ago on the phone. She's a beautiful person, inside and out.
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Plat the only advice that I would give you is to love and accept yourself as you are. You are a beautiful person with a great heart. Continue to pray and affirm your greatness. You are a child of the Most High! Things are going to get better. I wish you all the best my sister.

BTW, I've spoken to Bumble on the phone in the past also and she is certainly a jewel!!!

Plat,
I really do wish you all the best. I pray that things get better for you and your DH, as well as your feelings within get better too.
Never look at yourself and feel unattractive, you are beautiful-always know that.

Plat I know it sounds cliche, but remember to think positive. There is soooo much power in positive thinking. When you wake up in the morning look in the mirror and tell yourself, I'm beautiful and I love me some me". When you go to bed at night, say "goodnight beautiful" to yourself. And don't forget to pamper yourself. Take a nice long bath with some nice smelling scents, try out a new nail polish, style your hair a little different. Do little things that women like to do telling yourself all the while that your one hell of a woman, cause Plat, you are. Stay positive.

Hey Plat, I'm glad to hear from you, but saddened by your update. I pray that things work out between you and you're DH. Also as far as self esteem, one of the sisters said it best. You have to keep telling yourself you are beautiful until YOU believe it. I used to have self esteem and self image issues because of things that happened in the past. I had to get spiritual counseling and one of the things the counselor told me is that until you start believing within yourself that you are beautiful you won't believe it even if people tell you all day long. You are fearfully and WONDERFULLY made by God, he chose to make you just like you are. If we believe he does not make mistakes we have to know that he made us exactly how he wanted us to be. One of the sisters said it great and just confirmed what the counselor told me. You have to be intentional, you have to get up in the morning look in the mirror and say I'm beautiful. You have to say it through the day, you have to say it before you go to bed. Keep saying it until you believe it. A couple of pounds either way does not change who you are physically or mentally.

I will keep you lifted up Plat....

AMEN sisters, well said!!!!

hi plat! it's really goodtohear from you. you and hubby haven't been married long. there are a lot of kinksx to work out in a marriage and girl just when it gets sexy again there may be something else. Just put it in god's hands. Remember before you go on a road trip to:

1> Leave a love letter for your hubby (even if you had a fight a few hours before) saying that YOU ARE GLAD YOU MARRIED HIM AND YOU CAN'T WAIT TO COME BACK.

2. Know that you are beautiful. He would not have married you if he didn't think so. Beauty has no weight and you should rejoice in your body. It will do what's natural whether it is to remain thin or get big.

3. Take a naughty pic of yourself and put it on your bathroommirror for him to see when he gets in. This will be the image he has until you get back.

I am really glad to see that you guys are working on your relationship. I love ya and really miss you on here.

[quote="Rosetta"]1> Leave a love letter for your hubby (even if you had a fight a few hours before) saying that YOU ARE GLAD YOU MARRIED HIM AND YOU CAN'T WAIT TO COME BACK.

3. Take a naughty pic of yourself and put it on your bathroommirror for him to see when he gets in. This will be the image he has until you get back.

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GREAT IDEAS Rosie. I think I'll incorporate those ideas into my arsenal of tricks. You can never have too many weapons of mass seduction. LOL

That's right PamCrow, Rosie I may just have to use some of those suggestions too!!!!

Wow, Plat, I've been thinking of you while I was away. I'm so very sorry about things between you and DH, but please remember that as rosie said, there are lots of kinks to work out in a marriage and all that wonderful advice that Rosie gave ~ I can't touch that girl, I may have to borrow some myself and load my arsenal too (LOL). I will keep you uplifted through prayers.

Hey Miss,

Thanks so much for the love, but its no problem! Me and my DH have our bad days too..Sometimes bad weeks! But always remember who is in charge of your life! Somethings to remember:

1. You DON'T have total control!
2. No matter how smart and brilliant, and intelligent you are (well, we ALL are), you will not be able to figure this thing out all the time....In moments like that, put it in God's hand and move on!

I was just telling my baby sis (well she's 21) last night the same thing. She is a senior in college, studying for the LSAT for Law School, and an old flame came back into her life, and she felt bad because she didn't mean to fall so fast again for him, especially since he hurt her in the past. I told her my favorite story from the bible...Well my favorite books in the Old testament besides Psalm and Proverbs, are Samuel and Kings. The story of when Samuel realized the king he anointed for the Isrealites, Saul was becoming a bad King, and Samuel was very sad because he felt he had made such a huge mistake, and went into mourning (a sort of depression)...but God would not let him stay sad, he said "Get your horn and go! For I have already anointed another!" That story was profound in so many ways:

1. I learned that when one situation or relationship goes sour, God is not above changing his mind and replacing one bad person with something better. I say that here a lot. Especially when it comes to relationships, and cheaters, etc

2. The more time you spend in mourning, you may miss out on the blessing God has for you in the immediate future...so be sad, and get it out, tell God all about it, but Get your horn and go! Because only God can turn a bad situation into something Good. I also took from that, that if God ain't worried about it, why should I (you)?
You can never erase the past, but learn from it, and move forward!

Think about riding on the interstate in a storm....Many will pull over and wait right in the middle of the storm, and just stay there and hope it blows over....But that could be HOURS....For me (mostly b/c I am impatient) I always feel like, if I keep on moving, but just slow down, eventually I will MOVE THROUGH this storm, and soon I WILL see the sun!

SO Don't stay in the storm! Put one foot in front of the other, or Press on the Gas, and go THROUGH!

Bumble,

EXTREMELY WELL said!!!!!! wow!!!

Great words of wisdom Bumble!!

wow Bumble, Great advice. I love how you put that.

I agree with the ladies Bumble. That was very well said.

Much like Plat, I don't post on here very often but I do lurk..try to stop in and say hi every now and then ya know. I'm so glad I stopped by tonight...I needed those words of encouragement Bumble. DH and I have gone thru so many motions in the past 3 years so that message came right on time.
Be ecouraged ladies, we're all navigating through marriage and we're learning more about our men, ourseleves, our families and OUR FAITH.

Meanwhile Bumble I'm feeling all left out and stuff, you can't holla at a sistah in Tampa?!!
:)

Taunyana,
I can't believe its almost been 3 years! Wow!
Unfortunately I don't think I can speak from being married that long. However, next May will be 10 years that DH and I have been together, and we will have our 2nd wedding anniversary next March. I think that we both have grown up together. Right now, things are great, I celebrated my birthday, and he spoiled me rotten today! But maybe a week ago I wanted to choke him seriously.

At least once a month we may have an arguement or fight, but its mostly something I did to work his nerve. I get frustrated at him, but I always remember that God is working on the both of us to be better. SO its not fair to him to call him on his faults when I have a bunch of my own. Being that we treat each other as best friends, you should always be sensitive to your friends' feelings first! Always try to walk in their shoes....Many couples we know are very insensitive to each other. I always pray to understand my husband better because we speak a different language sometimes (cause he has some backwards expectations)....Other times we flow like water! But its the prayer in private that keeps it smooth for now. If we fight, and yes we do go to bed mad at each other, but Many mornings I get up and pray in the dark just to communicate better and to listen to my DH's heart. I sometimes don't have patience for my DH, because I am just fast and he takes his time with everything...Even to speak and think! But remember that in marriage and in relationships the relationship is a living breathing thing....You have to pray for the health of DH, yourself, and the marriage/friendship!

I don't know why I went on a tangent like that and if I bored you I am sorry. But it was on my heart....

I hate to sound like I know it all but I do not. I mess up a lot. But like I said he is being good today. I celebrated my 28th year of life today, and I am all relaxed from my dinner and my spa day courtesy of my DH. But I'll be back to wanting to kill him in a week. But prayer and hey, if you need to get a neutral party involved like your Pastor do so. Sometimes we may even ask our close married friends a week or so after we put it under the table momentarily how they handle it. Wemay say, what would you do if your wife said.... And usually they side with one of us. Then we all have a laugh. Sometimes seeing how you over or under-react through someone else's eyes helps too! We have good friends who are also Christians and they have been married 4 years but we seem to have more drama!

Happy Belated Birthday Bumble! My b-day was on Sunday...Virgo's in the house!....lol

I agree with everything that was said. Marriage is a learning process, sometimes your going to want to smack the daylights out of each other....sometimes you can't believe God has blessed this the love of your life. So you are going to have good and not so good times....it's how you get through it....what you learn from it...and how much closer you and your husband get because of it that's important.

Bumble you very wise for your years!!!! The advice was awesome and on time and a blessing to many. Happy Belated B-Day to you and all of the other Vi-Sisters. My husband's b-day was Monday too.

All the best to the Vi-families, I thank God for each and every one of you. This site has truly been a blessing in so many ways.

Happy Belated Birthday Bumble!!!!!!!!!!!! I pray that the rest of your evening was just as great as the beginning! :)

Girl...you should become a motivational speaker!!!!!!!! LOL

singing Stevie Wonder's "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YA, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YA, HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!!"

Thanks ya'll. The nice thing is the late gifts! It lets you keep on celebrating days later.

I didn't mean to change the subject though. But I think that this board has been such a blessing and help to me in my marriage also. I think for one, I can't complain much about my problems because clearly things can always be worse. Also I feel like if I need to get something off my chest I can do it here without worry of others being judgemental of me or how I live my life. And you don't find that much nowadays since somebody always got something mean to say. So thanks ladies for that. Also I never felt like I would be the one helping others, but when you grow up surrounded by drama, you hate to see someone else make the same mistake so you try your best to encourage them and pray them through. And I think our tight web of prayer warriors right here has helped many a vibride!

I agree with Bumble(BTW, Happy Belated Birthday Sis. You just joined me in the 28 year mark, LOL) this website truly is a blessing.

Happy Belated Bday girl, keep on enjoying

Thanks Guys for the B-Day wishes!

[quote="soontobebride"]Happy Belated Birthday Bumble! My b-day was on Sunday...Virgo's in the house!....lol

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Another Virgo over here! Now we see all the perfectionists. LOL!

Happy Be-lated B-Day Bumble.
And thats great wisdom.

Happy Belated Birthday Queen Bumble!!!

Bumble is always an inspiration. Marraige is work. It's always work. Some times its fun at work and other days you want to quit. Remember the vow you not only made to each other but you made it to each other's families and if it was by a priest, you made that vow to God.

Keep your chin up. I have been married 14 years. Very happily. AI have know my hubby since we were 16.

Happy belate B-day Ms.Bee.
Plat, I love you girl. You will make it through. Just remember 'it's only a test'. Our trails are there to make us stronger.
Mo

We are definitely praying for you and your DH Plat!

Yes, and don't they say that the 1st year of marriage is the most difficult? So, I think you just take it one day at a time. I think we all need prayer for our marriages.