Hey ladies I am six weeks away from my wedding and I should be coasting now, but I am not. I spent the weekend in bed with a fever. I've been coming to work not feeling well because we are being audited next week and I am in the middle of renewing our liability and worker's compensation insurance. (I need a vacation). My future husband has lost his mind! He told me while I'm in bed sick, mind you, that he thinks we should postpone the wedding for another year. I told him he must be out his doggone mind! The show will go on as planned. You guys may have read some of my other posts, but this man is suffering from major anxiety and it is getting on my nerves! I don't know if any of you married sisters have had experience with your fiance's going crazy weeks before the wedding, but this doesn't feel good to me at all! This man has been trying to start arguments over nonsense. I just don't understand him. I needed some place to vent, because my head hurts right now. I've asked him to take care of the DJ, and photographer and he hasn't done anything. Now I have to try and find someone now. I am ready to knock some sense into him. So if yall look out your windows and see a man flying by, don't think anything of it, it is just my fiance!
Hey ladies I am six weeks away from my wedding and I should be coasting now, but I am not. I spent the weekend in bed with a fever. I've been coming to work not feeling well because we are being audited next week and I am in the middle of renewing our liability and worker's compensation insurance. (I need a vacation). My future husband has lost his mind! He told me while I'm in bed sick, mind you, that he thinks we should postpone the wedding for another year. I told him he must be out his doggone mind! The show will go on as planned. You guys may have read some of my other posts, but this man is suffering from major anxiety and it is getting on my nerves! I don't know if any of you married sisters have had experience with your fiance's going crazy weeks before the wedding, but this doesn't feel good to me at all! This man has been trying to start arguments over nonsense. I just don't understand him. I needed some place to vent, because my head hurts right now. I've asked him to take care of the DJ, and photographer and he hasn't done anything. Now I have to try and find someone now. I am ready to knock some sense into him. So if yall look out your windows and see a man flying by, don't think anything of it, it is just my fiance!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Sweetie I am so sorry to hear that you are so aggravated weeks before your wedding, the time when you should be enjoying it. I dont know if it is cold feet that your fiancee is experiencing or not, but I pray that he can get over it. I would sit down and talk to him and remind him about all of the planning and hard work that you both put into this wedding. I would explain to him that if he was not ready or serious about getting married he had ample time to tell you before you guys told family and friends, and before you spent so much money. I pray that you two can get through all of this, and sweetie dont worry GOD has a plan.
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ditto house. My question to you Rhony is, did he say WHY he wanted to postpone it?
[quote="SeptBride"]ditto house. My question to you Rhony is, did he say WHY he wanted to postpone it?
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I asked him why. He said we could save more money. We have enough saved for what we need to do. We have been saving for over a year. Money is not a problem. So what he said makes no sense at all. He has been acting really weird and asking me why can't we just live together (he means indefinitely). He knows I will NEVER stand for that. He's been saying things like marraige is only a piece of paper and all kinds of nonsense like that. In my heart I think it is anxiety, because everything was fine before, and the things he is saying makes no sense.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
I personally think that the closer it gets to the date, the more reality is setting in. Before it was all talk and now that the date is fast approaching he may be getting cold feet, or having second thoughts. I had my fh sign an agreement that was notarized that in the event the wedding does not take place he will reimburse me all of the money that I spent on putting the event together.
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Very smart decision Housewife. My FH knows that I am not to be played with! I will take legal action to get my money back if necessary or I will have my brothers have a heart to heart with him if ya know what I mean -- sistagurl ain't having it! But I am not entertaining that right now, I think that he is nervous, for a variety of reasons. No one in his immediate family's marriage has withstood the test of time. Their husbands/wives have all walked out, cheated, etc. All but one of his friends are divorced or still "live at home with Mama"! The one that is married, has nothing nice to say about his wife and cheats on her like crazy! And as you say reality is finally setting in for him.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Talk to him, that is the best thing for this situatuion. Sometimes people get swept up or carried away and forget what's important. The love that you share and your comittment is the most important thing here. Maybe the two of you just need to have a heart to heart and get on the same page. I feel that he is not only anxious but most like scared out of his mind! You know how men are they never think about things until they start to happen, we on the other hand think 50 years into the future. Reality can be scary for us all. Just talk to him and try to make sure that you two have a good understanding about everything.
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Ya'll need a break...A nice relaxing date...Have dinner by candlelight. Go see a movie, don't discuss the wedding, but let your actions remind him of why he put the ring on in the first place.
If you need to "make him fly" if he lands in Florida, I'll overnight him in the mail.
We've been Happily Married 2 Years and Counting:)
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Bumble ya made me laugh hard girl! Thanks. I appreciate all of your advice. My fiance is 43 years old and should know what he wants at this point. We have known each other for so long and have been through so much, including separating for 10 years. He came back to me saying that he wants his family back and now that he has us back he is making us crazy because he is scared. We had a conversation about 2 months ago in which he told me that he is afraid to fail me. I told him that he shouldn't put that kind of pressure on himself, because we are facing life together and with God on our side, we can do anything. I will talk to him and even suggest a dinner with just the two of us. Hopefully he will get over his fears. If not he stands the chance on losing his family, because I'm not living with him without the wedding. He has until November 11, 2006 10:59 am to get it together!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
My man flaked on me as well. We were set for May 2007 and he started crying about how he had not finished school yet and I had already booked the hall. I let him know that either we get married or we will no longer be exclusive. With my mom so sick we put it off until May 2008 (We already paid the deposit). Sometimes I wish I had left him when I intended to two years ago. Other days I am in love.
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[quote="housewife147"]I personally think that the closer it gets to the date, the more reality is setting in. Before it was all talk and now that the date is fast approaching he may be getting cold feet, or having second thoughts. I had my fh sign an agreement that was notarized that in the event the wedding does not take place he will reimburse me all of the money that I spent on putting the event together.
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Whoa I wouldn't want to mess with you.Why did you think you had to do this?
[quote="DaughterRhonda"]Bumble ya made me laugh hard girl! Thanks. I appreciate all of your advice. My fiance is 43 years old and should know what he wants at this point. We have known each other for so long and have been through so much, including separating for 10 years. He came back to me saying that he wants his family back and now that he has us back he is making us crazy because he is scared. We had a conversation about 2 months ago in which he told me that he is afraid to fail me. I told him that he shouldn't put that kind of pressure on himself, because we are facing life together and with God on our side, we can do anything. I will talk to him and even suggest a dinner with just the two of us. Hopefully he will get over his fears. If not he stands the chance on losing his family, because I'm not living with him without the wedding. He has until November 11, 2006 10:59 am to get it together!
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He will come through for you all.He is probably just scared.Aren't you?Me I try not to think about it,and when I do I sometimes wonder why I am going through with this., I was quite comfortable just living 2gether.FH use to tell me marriage is just a paper too,and I said a paper with alot of meaning.It tells the world this is the woman I have chosen to spend the rest of my live with.So hang in there.
You ladies are the best. I just keep praying because I really don't know what else to do at this point.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Rhonda, That's all you can do sista is pray!! Things will work out. Sounds like he's scared crapless to me. I know time is of essence, but I agree w/Bumblebee, take a1 day or 2 (no wedding talks) & go out; Even if you spend an evening in a hotel close to the house. Remind each other why you chose the other 2 be your lifelong companions. Stop getting yourself sick over this. You both have worked hard for it.
P.S. Housewife, I love your thought process girl! Thinking of now doing that along w/a pre-nup. I belive in the Cover Your A$$ method for EVERY situation.
"I's married now" - "The Color Purple"
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P.S. Housewife, I love your thought process girl! Thinking of now doing that along w/a pre-nup. I belive in the Cover Your A$$ method for EVERY situation.
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Thanks MrsRobinson2b! Girl you are too funny, you guys sure know how to brighten up my day!!! HAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Rhonda darlin'....I'm glad I can make you laugh. Seems like your in need of the smiles. I honestly have missed my comedic calling. But 4real..ya'll better start thinking about that C.Y.A. Method...you never know. (wink,wink)
"I's married now" - "The Color Purple"
I know that's right MrsRobinson2b -- LOL!!!!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
I just printed out "Secrets to a Wonderful Start To Your Marriage" for my fiance (located on this site). I hope he will find this helpful. Thanks Rosie!!!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
[quote="housewife147"] I had my fh sign an agreement that was notarized that in the event the wedding does not take place he will reimburse me all of the money that I spent on putting the event together.
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Wow, boy you are really covering your tracks! You go gurl!
Each One Teach One!
[quote="Bumblebeekee"]Ya'll need a break...A nice relaxing date...Have dinner by candlelight. Go see a movie, don't discuss the wedding, but let your actions remind him of why he put the ring on in the first place.
If you need to "make him fly" if he lands in Florida, I'll overnight him in the mail.
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I agree with B, that is exactly what the two of yous need right now Rhonda!
Each One Teach One!
Rhonda my prayers are with you during this time but it sounds like to me you already know the problem. Everyone around him has failed at this marriage thing and he is scared he will too. After being together for almost 10 years, my 1st marriage ended in divorce. For whatever reason once we got married, he expected things to change although we had been living together for years and had children b4 the wedding. I understand fh since I was like him. Had not 1 good example of a happily married couple prior to the 1st marriage. Just try to assure him things will only get better afterward and that you will not change and start demanding things that were not apart of your relationship and understanding b4. You know what I mean? No one wants to fail or feel like a failure. Good luck it will all work out and continue to pray.
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GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME; ALL THE TIME GOD IS GOOD. WHEN IN DOUBT, PRAY
I hear you and understand what you are saying. I have been looking over all of the previous post seeing if I missed anything and came back across this one. Honey although your wedding is fastly approching I think you should speak with whoever did your marriage counseling to make sure he is just nervous about failing, and let the counselor try to reassure him that everything will be ok you just have to take it one day at a time. Trust me you do not want to just brush this under the rug and it turns out to be a bigger problem. Make sure that it is just jitters and not him changing his mind about the hole thing.
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Taj you took the words RIGHT out of my mouth . . . Listen to her Rhony, she's right on the money.
Whoa I wouldn't want to mess with you.Why did you think you had to do this?
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I didnt think I HAD TO DO IT, I am a smart women and I know that nothing in life is guaranteed but death. My mother did not raise a fool. I would rather cover myself in the event that things dont go as planned and something happen and the wedding is called off and I'm looking like a deer in front of head lights.
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[quote="DaughterRhonda"] He has been acting really weird and asking me why can't we just live together (he means indefinitely). He knows I will NEVER stand for that. He's been saying things like marraige is only a piece of paper and all kinds of nonsense like that. In my heart I think it is anxiety, because everything was fine before, and the things he is saying makes no sense.
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Just cold feet. Perfectly normal! He will say he never said that after you been married a few days LOL
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Thanks ladies. My FH is ok today -- LOL!!! He apologized to my daughter and I and said that he "bugged out" because he was afraid. As you can tell from my comments, I guess I panicked too.
My FH said that he is committed to our family and nothing would ever change that! I appreciate all of the advice you ladies are awesome. We missed our last session of counseling, but are looking forward to the next and I will definitely bring this up.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Glad to hear all is well, I thought I had to come over there with my sneakers on. LOL! She everything always turn out for the best.
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Glad all worked out for you 2. Love's a wonderful thing. I'm w/housewife. I too was ready w/my timberlands..just in case..lol
"I's married now" - "The Color Purple"
OMG Housewife and MrsRobinson2be, I feel so good knowing I have the sistahood, sneakers, timberlands and all behind my back! If FH knows what is good for him, he will behave himself!!! LOL!!!!!!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
RHONDA!!!
Gurl its almost time!!! You only have a week left! You gettin nervous lady?????
Each One Teach One!
Hey Sister, Im new to the board but was just noticed that you're really close to the big day.. How's everything ?
[quote="msjena64"]Hey Sister, Im new to the board but was just noticed that you're really close to the big day.. How's everything ?
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She got married already.
Each One Teach One!
Yes Rhony got married already. Saturday to be exact. You can view her wedding photo's the post is title Rhony's wedding I believe
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