Hi ladies, I hope everyone had a good weekend. Because mine was bad enough for everyone. One of my BM dropped out because she did not have half of her money for the dress because she want to do some christmas shopping and she has to rent a car to go out of town because her car is not working, Which she knew she needed for a while. She did not try to work something out she said just said she did not have and she want to step down. I was so mad I just said ok and hung up. Because for one she did not try to work something out it was like she didn't want to be in it any. Then she waited until the day before to tell me. Then cousin over slept and did not meet me to order the FG dress keep in mind all the dress was suppose to be order Sat. So when I called her she said she was on her way. Well guess what she never came and I called twice and she did not answer. I have not heard from her in two days. It doesn't stop there. I have had two meetings for the wedding since I started planning. My other BM never came to the first one and she knew about the second one and the fact that it was important for her to be there because the dress had to be ordered. She told she was going to be there. She never showed up and then called two hours later. I told her that I have removed her from the wedding to save me stress in the long run. She acted as if it was no big deal and what she had to do was more important when she knew what was expected when she accepted the role as my BM. When I was in her wedding in FEB. I was there for her. I have already found someone to replace one of the BM. But not in her place. Her husband is also in the wedding. When I talk to my FH I'm going to tell him to remove him because they were going to walk down together and it is not fair to remove one of his family members or best friend because of what she did. Ladies I could go on and on but tell what you think?
Hi ladies, I hope everyone had a good weekend. Because mine was bad enough for everyone. One of my BM dropped out because she did not have half of her money for the dress because she want to do some christmas shopping and she has to rent a car to go out of town because her car is not working, Which she knew she needed for a while. She did not try to work something out she said just said she did not have and she want to step down. I was so mad I just said ok and hung up. Because for one she did not try to work something out it was like she didn't want to be in it any. Then she waited until the day before to tell me. Then cousin over slept and did not meet me to order the FG dress keep in mind all the dress was suppose to be order Sat. So when I called her she said she was on her way. Well guess what she never came and I called twice and she did not answer. I have not heard from her in two days. It doesn't stop there. I have had two meetings for the wedding since I started planning. My other BM never came to the first one and she knew about the second one and the fact that it was important for her to be there because the dress had to be ordered. She told she was going to be there. She never showed up and then called two hours later. I told her that I have removed her from the wedding to save me stress in the long run. She acted as if it was no big deal and what she had to do was more important when she knew what was expected when she accepted the role as my BM. When I was in her wedding in FEB. I was there for her. I have already found someone to replace one of the BM. But not in her place. Her husband is also in the wedding. When I talk to my FH I'm going to tell him to remove him because they were going to walk down together and it is not fair to remove one of his family members or best friend because of what she did. Ladies I could go on and on but tell what you think?
KMED the inconsideration of your bridal party is driving you crazy. I just want to encourage you because it will all work out in the end -- believe it or not your wedding will be everything that you hoped for. Don't let them stress you out. I had similar issues, with my bridal party. One of them dropped out one month before the wedding -- we went on without her and everything turned out fine. Another one of my bridesmaids didn't want to go through the bridal shop I used, and she ordered her dress on line thinking she would save money, but she ended up spending about the same. While I was going through the madness I couldn't see past their unconsideration, but it worked out. I think people are not going to be as excited about our weddings as we are -- then there are some who have other issues going on -- but you can't let them steal your joy.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
I have to agree with Rhonda. No one values your wedding as you do. However I dont understand the bridesmaid who's wedding you were in, why she doesn't have the same consideration for you as you had for her. As for you, I agree with you. Dump the stress and keep it moving. Like Rhonda said, do what is best for you and everything will work out for the best. A wedding is stressful enough without the people you are counting on adding more stress.
Each One Teach One!
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Her husband is also in the wedding. When I talk to my FH I'm going to tell him to remove him because they were going to walk down together and it is not fair to remove one of his family members or best friend because of what she did. Ladies I could go on and on but tell what you think?
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That DOES sound like a horrible weekend. two things: if your 'girls' can't be there for you during one of the most important days of your life (if not THE most important) I would really re-evaluate the dynamics of the friendship. I know that sounds harsh, but it sounds like their behavior was totally thoughless, and insensitive. Especially for the BM who has been through this process before, she should know better! As far as the GM, if he is not a necessity/absolutely-future-god parent-needs to be there, then I would give him the option of continuing to to be in the wedding, or voluntarily stepping down considering the circumstances so there woulld be no hard feelings/animosity.
either way... you can't let people stress you out this is YOUR day.
keep us posted.
I am a little upset myself. One of my bridesmaids called me and told me she was pregnant. She asked me if she could still be in my wedding and I told her no. I dont mean to sound unsensitive, but I dont want anyone pregnant in my wedding.
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DAG!!! yall are tough on folks!
I'm compelled to ask: who are being chosen as BMs? and why? I mean from the sound of things it seems like they are just bodies filling spaces, not people that are close friends. ??
Hence the reason I am using 2 of each, cause I don't have time for the bull. I am so sorry you ad to go through this but the girls are right. In the end, you have to remember that they really won't care as much as you do. (Sorry) and that will NEVER change. Just use the people you have and go from there. If someone else drops out, don't worry because its one less gift you have to buy and one less person(s) to keep up with. I psyched myself out sometimes thinking I don't have enough BM's and then I read about what you ladies have to endure and I truly thank God. I am working with less people as far has help over the course of the planning, but I rather work a little harder with less people than have to work even harder with more people who are "supposed" to be helping out, and they really aren't, and then have to pick up their slack anyway.
Please never forget who your source is, and Rhony said it best-It WILL all work out in the end, even if you get down to 2 or 3 BM's and GM's because they are the ones who were dedicated enough to stick with it and plan accordingly. Aren't those the ones who are most important?
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Well said ladies!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
[quote="MsBoston"]DAG!!! yall are tough on folks!
I'm compelled to ask: who are being chosen as BMs? and why? I mean from the sound of things it seems like they are just bodies filling spaces, not people that are close friends. ??
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The people that are in my wedding are very close friends of mine, including 2 cousins. The people I chose are VERY reliable (I kept that in mind when choosing them). I don't think they would ever do anything to intentionally hurt me and vice versa. We all have each others backs. If one fall short, someone will be there to help the other out. This is just how we do as friends. We have more of a sisterly bond than a friendship bond.
I'm glad to hear that your friends are reliable. It seems that when my engagement was announced everybody and their sister was inviting themself into the wedding party. I felt bad having to say no, and I think some took it WAY personal. However, after hearing about what can potentially go wrong...I'm glad I made the choice to scale back.
I must say GOD is good because he has once again worked it out. My cousin will be replacing the BM that dropped out. She is so excited. I also decided to put my FH neice as the the FG. I don't know why I didn't think about it in the first place because she would be perfect. The only thing is that her parents are very young so, they will not be able to but the FG dress that I want. So I will have to find a FG dress already made in the store for very cheap and I have to buy it myself. I know GOD will work that out. As for the BM that I had to drop. We will leave her husband in the wedding. My FH said she only wanted 4 anyway so it works out.
Now how I chose my BM were not based on family or me just knowing them. I felt like I chose people who I know woould have my back in making this day exactly how I want it. Not someone who will add stress because I will do that on my own. Someone I can trust and rely on to handle business it needed. That is why I did not have my best cousin in because I knew she couldn't handle it and I didn't want any problems. Now the BM that I have to drop. I really added her because she had me in her wedding and because we are friends not so much because I thought she would really be there. I was hoping for the best. Thanks ladies for listening to my drama.
Sorry to hear that housewife. I know GOD will work it out for you. If she is a true friend she would understand that it is nothing against her. It's all about making your day perfect.
I'm glad that things are working out for you KMED!!!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
[quote="MsBoston"]DAG!!! yall are tough on folks!
I'm compelled to ask: who are being chosen as BMs? and why? I mean from the sound of things it seems like they are just bodies filling spaces, not people that are close friends. ??
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The person in which I was referring to is a very close friend of mine, and has been since the sixth grade. She will be going on nine months pregnant when my wedding will arrive and I just cant risk putting her in my wedding then she give birth or something happens that prevent her from being in it at the last minute. No one knows exactly how her pregnance will turn out, what if GOD forbid she has to be on bed rest, then I'm stuck. Not to mention I dont have time for her to start with the I dont have the money for this and that due to her having to plan for her baby. To advoid any future problems I will not have her in my wedding. It may sound harsh but this is my wedding and I dont want anyone that is pregnant in it.
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No one knows exactly how her pregnance will turn out... To advoid any future problems I will not have her in my wedding.
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Oh course I had to talk to "big guy" (FH) about this. He shares your sentiment...but he was WAY harsh/adiment about the issue. I guess I can see what you mean. not to mention that there is a possibility of someone detracting attention to the person who's day it is (yours.our day) I can only hope that I don't have to face a dicision like that. I'm sure it was hard, especially since she's she's a close friend. I hope she understood?
Glad it worked out for you KMED! I was very fortunate that I didn't have any drama with my 10 BM's but like someone stated earlier they all were close friends that I knew had my back.
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Wow KMED! It's great to see that all has worked out for you. After reading all of the posts I agree with Housewife for not putting her friend in her wedding because she will be 9 months during the time of the wedding.
I do not look forward to going through any of this. All (3) of my sister's and my best friend are in my wedding. I wish I would have been like Septbride and thought about how reliable they are before I asked them because 2 of them are not reliable!
I wish you luck DW. I had drama with my bridesmaids, but it all worked out.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
And it always will work out like Rhony said. It seems like there is a new test every few weeks in planning this wedding! Thats why you see some people will start out planning a wedding, and then get tired of the drama, and a few months later you find out they eloped in Hawaii or some exotic locale! I don't blame them sometimes!
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I hope it doesn't get so bad that I want to elope! LOL!!
LOL!!! No, I hope not...hang in there! I'm sure it'll all be worth the stress and drama when everything works out PERFECTLY!!
Even if you and FH did decide to elope guess what? Its absolutely fine! If you and FH are happy, have prayed on it, and continue to put God first, then so what? You will do everything right with this wedding, and people will STILL be mad but so what?
We've been Happily Married 2 Years and Counting:)
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[quote="MsBoston"]LOL!!! No, I hope not...hang in there! I'm sure it'll all be worth the stress and drama when everything works out PERFECTLY!!
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I know that's right!!!!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
I told her she couldnt be in my wedding but I guess she thought I was joking.
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[quote="housewife147"]I told her she couldnt be in my wedding but I guess she thought I was joking.
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LOL!
Hi ladies, I've been having so much drama not just with the wedding even outside of the wedding. I was thinking about telling my FH that I don't want to have a wedding. I know I would probably regret it in the long run but I'm just not feeling all this stress. I know GOD is good and he will make a way out of know way. So right now I'm like LORD I need you. I know Satan is just mad that two powerful women and man of GOD is about to come together so he is trying to stop that union.