Hi everyone,
I have a small challenge, I belong to a church that does not believe in dancing and playing music. I however, do not share those views. I love my church family very much, however, I don't want to offend them. I've always dreamed of having a reception in which I would be able to dance with my husband. However, I don't want to offend my church family. To solve this problem I'd thought about having two receptions, however this is quite expensive. I would appreciate any suggestions that you may have. Thank you.
Hi everyone,
I have a small challenge, I belong to a church that does not believe in dancing and playing music. I however, do not share those views. I love my church family very much, however, I don't want to offend them. I've always dreamed of having a reception in which I would be able to dance with my husband. However, I don't want to offend my church family. To solve this problem I'd thought about having two receptions, however this is quite expensive. I would appreciate any suggestions that you may have. Thank you.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
My wedding is in August... I was having the same dilemma. My fiance & I decided to have 2 receptions. The 2nd reception is strictly invitation only. It's very discreet. We have more than 200 people invited to the first reception & out of the 200 only 50 are invited to the 2nd. Those people will get an additional invitation to that. In addition, I will have my 1st reception immediately after the ceremony (around 2pm)& the 2nd reception will be later @ 9pm in a ballroom. It's considered "the afterparty" for the "grown & sexy" ;)
Nikky29
Well done Nikky! That is a great solutiion. Try having just light hor d'ouerves and mocktails immediately after the service and the full buffet or sit down reception at a later time. If you can have the first at the church banquet hall if possible so that guests won't have to leave.
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If you church has a banquet hall that would be a great place to have a reception, then have an intimate gathering where you can dance the night away with your spouse. But I have a question, why doesn't your church believe in dancing and playing music, they danced and played music in the bible. (Make a joyful noise unto the Lord all ye lands..come into his presence with singing)I'm sure you weren't thinking of dancing to 'Bump and Grind or Sex Me' (LOL)
Living my life like it's GOLDEN!!
I thought that the whole purpose of the reception was to celebrate. Dancing, music, the whole nine yards.
I thought the reception was just another way to tell your guests thanks for being a part of the wedding day.
Nikky29
Phenomonique,
I'm not exactly sure why they don't believe in dancing. For whatever reason they feel that you should only dance for The Lord and that any other form of dancing is sinful. Of course, I think that is utter nonsense and dancing is just a form of celebrating. Whenever there is a reception at my church it is a "dinner reception" and only gospel music is played. I of course do believe in dancing and I don't share their views. I want to include my church family in my celebration, but I don't want to offend them. That is why I will follow through with Nikki's suggestion and have a private after party.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Nikki and Sassimommie37,
Dancing is a form of celebration to which I do agree. I personally don't find anything wrong with it. I want my guests to enjoy themselves, those who belong to my church and the ones who are not a part of my church. I was really "belly aching" over this one and have decided to do two separate receptions. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people who have narrow minded views. I love these people because they are my church family, but I am not willing to give up the opportunity to dance with my hubby-to-be (he doesn't share those views either).
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Very Good! You have a blast DaughterRhonda. That way you'll get to celebrate with everyone, and twice.:)
Living my life like it's GOLDEN!!
No need to get on the defensive. For instance, my grandmother is 80 years old and she is coming from Miami to the wedding and I know for a fact that she will want to leave the reception once the dancing and drinking commence. So, I felt why should she feel the need to leave before the festivities has begun. My first reception is catered to those individuals and my second reception will have hip hop, r&b and other secular music that most church- going folks will feel uncomfortable listening/dancing to. The 2nd reception is actually more of an afterparty. The church does allow a first dance but we can't do the cha cha, electric slide, chicago style steppin and a soul train line. All of which I would like to incorporate during the reception. What it all boils down to is it's your wedding and you do what makes you feel comfortable.
Nikky29
Nikky,
Please understand, I didn't mean to sound defensive, because I agree with everything and all of the suggestions/viewpoints that were given. I was just expressing the dilemma I was having trying to keep everyone happy. My first reception will be more of a "sit-down dinner reception" with the church folks and the second will incorporate dancing to R&B, Hip-Hop, Reggae, Salsa and it is my desire for everyone to have a great time. And as Phenomonique says I will be celebrating and having twice the fun!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
great. just make sure you are a happy at the end. :)
Nikky29
Nikky,
Will do. Thanks.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
DaughterRhonda can you have the dinner at the church, is there a banquet area?
Living my life like it's GOLDEN!!
Hi Phenomonique,
There is a banquet area in my church, however, my church family alone would fill it up (We've out grown our church and we are in the process of looking for a new building that is large enough). The banquet area is too small for my family, husband-to-be's family and the church family as well. I am entertaining the thought of having the wedding and reception at a friend's church, I just need to work out the formalities because I want my Pastor to marry me. My friend's church is big enough to host the wedding and the banquet area is large enough too.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
If you friends church is not confirmed you should consider the Art Museum on the Grand Concourse, 8hrs for $1500. You could have everything there. Your ceremony (which generally takes 45mins to an hr), followed by your first reception for your church family, and then the after party, where you'll get you first dance as husband and wife. Another good thing about the museum is you have to do outside catering, so you can have you food done by anybody you want to.
Living my life like it's GOLDEN!!
How would that work--- If you have the 1st reception there, how can you have an afterparty........... some people will feel uncomfortable once the music starts and leave???? I think that's tacky.
Nikky29
How would that work--- If you have the 1st reception there, how can you have an afterparty........... some people will feel uncomfortable once the music starts and leave???? I think that's tacky.
Nikky29
How would that work--- If you have the 1st reception there, how can you have an afterparty........... some people will feel uncomfortable once the music starts and leave???? I think that's tacky.
Nikky29
Phenomonique, that is an excellent idea, I will definitely research that option ($1,500 for 8 hours -- wow!). Nikki, I would have the wedding ceremony and first reception at the Museum. The after party would be some where else. Perhaps I could rent a community center of some sort. I am open to suggestions ladies. Thanks and keep them coming!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Not at all Nikky. Timing is everything. Your ceremony and reception would be about 3.5hrs. When everyone clears out you'd have a crew set up for the other event 1.5hrs later, allowing 4hrs. for your after party. I couldn't imagine just starting an after party while the other guest are there. Time and money, make them work for you.
Living my life like it's GOLDEN!!
I had a friend who did the same thing with her reception. First she had a sit down dinner for the elderly guest and a few hours later she had another reception with music and dancing all at the same place.
I hadn't thought of having all three events at the same place, but it looks good and it would sure be cost effective!!!!!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Another suggestion DaughterRhonda, if your after party is later in the day do Hors d'Oeuvres for your guest.
Living my life like it's GOLDEN!!
Phenomonique, serving Hor d'Oeuvres would be perfect. Great suggestion thanks.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
My husband and I had the same dilemma, but we decided that we were going to celebrate. We had the music and we danced; however, we had the DJ play music that was not offensive to anyone. We had people in the church doing the electric slide including a Deaconess.
Blessed be the Lord my strength ......
My pastor made it perfectly clear during our final marriage counseling session that no drinking and dancing allowed. My fiance & I were fine with it. We decided to have an after party elsewhere. :)
Nikky29